Hotaru's Portal

End of portal

2011-04-10T17:56:00.000-07:00

its been a wonderful 5-6 years. using this portal for sharing, endless whinning, learning and new discoveries.

will miss doing this.... readers thank you for your support all this years..

Being in Control

2011-04-07T22:04:00.000-07:00

I used to think life is everything that comes as you expect, happens and leaves as you expect it to be.

Well, a few random incidents proved me wrong:

- Divorce among the impossible.
- My job which i initially thought was a nightmare
- What I want

The key thing towards where you are always lies at where you wish to be.
I have been taking it too slow to decide. And I realise i have to make it quick as time waits for no man. Be it because things that will not last forever -> good health, company, opportunties.

I'm learning to see why things are happening.
Why my current company instead of a Big MNC with all things ticking down?
Why THIS instead of hardcore engineering?
( But that doesnt mean i'm not giving up engineering okay? My blood and perk for engineering still persist high as ever!!! )

Seriously, we dont have absolute control of the many things... like the Massive earthquake in Japan.. One after another. Wish I'l give some to the needy once situation allows. These are the times you musnt say 'things can wait'.

More over, I used to wonder. Why am I getting this? (job scope ) but i began to fill. its because its the only void to bring me to the next step. The exact thing i need before i can move forward! And really, being able to be shortlisted TOO is something beyond my control :). So yeah, i wont complain.. At All!
As for my brother who unable to see why and kept asking me
" why work so hard for your boss? Its not like you are getting anything out from the money he makes end of the day!!"

Think again. Think- why does someone works Hard still... knowing the fact that monaterily theres no obvious benefit?
We all focus so much on whats obvious and short term. we forget sitting back and look at the bigger picture makes all the difference.
Sometimes, its best to sit back and plan than to grab first. True though, that monaterily, is very tempting. I myself, as a human being wont say i dread seeing the figures i can potentially make from my core line.

But at the end of the day, will my life be fulfilling? throwing away a good opportunity? And is my situation as bad as it seems? well, Not exactly. and theres nothing good out of it to bullshit :P

So, learn to see the two sides of things. we might not get control on everything. But we can always make good and get the best out of the situation we are in.
Always.

I feel blessed this time. Because I no longer have to trade off between studies, money and sleeping time like i used to.
Belief me, if you think my life seems moderate. It has improved and things will go well as long as i do my fair share in working on it!

One thing too. Others dont get great offer out of the sky. Everyone has an equal share of hardwork. Learn to understand that consideration and hardwork means everything.

The right mind anyone?

2011-04-03T19:12:00.000-07:00

I was worried for a long long time. Looking for my way out for the ordeals. I have been worrying.. what happens if others have refuse to see, or situation goes beyond your control?
It really did made me a whole lot wiser. filling almost everything, every question that i can ever have for the pass 20 years! The peaceful solution has been in me. Yes. because i have already done whats right. though not said/expressed/ and communicated, the opportunity wasnt there. and once it was, i did my part.

But at times, waiting at one corner to make one see the real point. It can only come out in 2 outcome..
your own time wasted, and he/she wont see it still.. because for the other party, winning is more important..
because of concept of the following below:

"When i am at the upper hand.. being proved that my perception is right or wrong isnt a priority. Most importantly, i found someone i have which shows i Don't need you."

Now. You may think the purpose of this post it to whine on it. But guess again. I'm just trying to point out what & why people no longer get along. Be it a spouse, a parent, a friend, an acquaintance, or even your employee.

What i just say above simple is a mere random example. and believe me. it's absolute bullshit for me to say " no. I've never encounter being the person misunderstood or the one misunderstanding other party in this way "

None of us are excluded of making mistakes, but as we grow older, we know some things are mistakes and the reconcillation moments to make things right is there.. You can start predicting,how the flow might start going. But it is because THEN you remember that you will be proven wrong, that Now you Don't wish to be in it..

Sit back, take a good view on the whole picture. Does it matter to be proven wrong during times you Don't get anything positive in return? Earning/winning upfront. Has it been always So important? Is that how your spouse/ friends/ employee is worth?

Perhaps it isnt a good bargain. Perhaps an extra plus thing that comes into your life overrides what people that doesnt seem to offer much then that we've lived through during the days that we are No one.

My lengthy elaboration puts no purpose in a complain. But before you lay something to rest,6 feet underground.
Think if its worth it. think that have you really asked the right questions.
I've done my best ( and i've explored ALL possibilities to communicate ).

People who havent fight the battle to live, has no right to give up and say he wished to die.

If you Did die with full of life's reqrets end of the day, perhaps you deserve to after all- simply out of not trying hard enough.

I'm not here to challenge anyone's ego. I'm sure if you read in between the lines, i am trying to express this in a way that it still falls as something childish. We may not wish to admit it- and the saying goes " maturity doesnt come with age"

"How much of what we do is considered Right?"

"Do we Consider We handle this the Mature way Or simply we are good enough to handle everything Maturely by heart?"

The answer is obvious but please, i dont cover all possibilities. I am no God and I'm just here to share. I dont know whose mind i may have opened- or never. But I just wish to let this world knows something i had a thought that i wished to share :)

Searchin My soul

I've been down this road walkin' the line
That's painted by pride
And I have made mistakes in my life
That I just can't hide

Oh I believe I am ready for what love has to bring
Got myself together, now I'm ready to sing

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

One by one, the chains around me unwind
Every day now I feel that I can leave those years behind

Oh I've been thinking of you for a long time
There's a side of my life where I've been blind and so...

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
I've been searchin' my soul tonight
Don't wanna be alone in life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home
Baby I been holding back now my whole life
I've decided to move on now
Gonna leave all my worries behind

Oh I belive I am ready for what love has to give
Got myself together now I'm ready to live

I've been searchin' my soul tonight
I know there's so much more to life
Now I know I can shine a light
Everything gonna be alright
I've been searchin' my soul tonight
Don't wanna be alone in my life
Now I know I can shine a light
To find my way back home

When we speak of perfection

2011-03-24T19:49:00.000-07:00

I Agree..

That they said you are funny , charming, and a complete gentleman. =)

Haha. you fall into the 'perfect' guy category that no one thinks you exist.
Now just go on an create more fairy tale among my colleagues XD so that they are in dreamland at all times LOL.

De Constipate

2011-03-23T21:06:00.000-07:00

Yeay! Finally there is mobility in the Joint Venture project ^^..

I was begining to get worried if both parties are gonna start talking in bad terms... gotta get my future-even-busier-butt out from my couch d.. from taking airplane, must switch to private jet!!

Andrew's precious words of guidance aint down the drain after all. Looking forward to a better kickstart... with less HooHaas.... :P

Two sides of a coin

2011-03-22T18:24:00.000-07:00

I have been wondering on my decisions.. It doesnt really matter now.
I used to think that it is wrong for others to make choices between the ones you care.

But the way i see it, for others to be manipulative over the situation just so that the guilt of them putting you away is less, its just the same.
Its just like saying
" oh, i am not wrong in not getting information A because i didnt hear it"
SItuation: you literally DIDN't hear it because at the time it was spoken, you deliberately cover your ears and close your eyes.

Life isn't always fair and there are ways to make things right for you in your own way. I found mine. and you should start on yours from now.
No wonder, mistakes never seem to be from your side and this is how you made it to be. In the society, i think they call this with the name " Manipulation ".

Due to this, i realised i am a far more simple person than I thought i am. Peace and happiness... priceless. and as for your multiple scandals, two timing and all that ... well... as a friend, i kept my integrity ( after all, im never as anywhere close as manipulative as you and your ex too :P ... now see? theres answer towards everything. and you used to wonder why you gotten itu tahi rite )

Just fart your mistakes away XD I forgive u anyway already. I didnt blow off your lie and blunder about the FB thingy. See? Im such a great friend XD

Commitment

2010-12-05T08:06:00.000-08:00

Chatted with Lipas today regarding newfound priorities.

More precisely, what happens when the day where we have to make options. Time management to be spend on what and whom and fraction of it?
Life isnt about squeaky clean obvious options. There Will be time we have to make Trade off decisions!

Many seem to have a simplified version, and the options broaden as we grows older. Some arent as flexible as you think it is anymore. It involves giving up important things in your life. More time for yourself equals less time for others. You hardly get to achieve with both ends meet with positive response!
There will be the time we have to kiss our freedom goodbye. But we gained perhaps more intellectual/ career advancement opportunity.

Many who havent face this side of life will think they can achieve the impossible. Chances are, you'l loose both ends altogether along with compromising your health.
Options in life are usually inevitable. We'l Have to make them when we meet them.
I was worried for a while about coping the friendship part.. But then again, when you've done your best you could, nothing should cause / bother you. =)

A simple quote to share..which i don't know who originally quoted it.

"True friendship isn't being inseparable, it's being separated and nothing changes"

Another view to share =)

2010-11-14T07:10:00.000-08:00

Negativities post aside, and here comes something uplifting ( i had to push the bad ones down away first .. thats why :D )

Went back to Unim, to people who had witnessed me work for real during the final 8 months.
When i talked to Dr Hanson, telling her that i was able solve my fyp problems is because i was lucky and this was her reply...

"No. It wasnt luck at all. It was because u had the right attitude"

That One sentence, revived me instantly from death of prooving my effort that everyone took for granted. Only God knew once my immune system hit me, down to the core on how badly the situation hit me.
I never bragged but all i can say is... i had to pay for what i have left out.
Travelling daily for 4 years and not staying there... really makes u pay a huge price as compensation. Health, stamina, and a lot of time, sweat and tears in the final year.

How many of us actually feel of its significance?
How many of you actually think its for real?
How many of you think its greatly exaggerated?
Watching some ungrateful opinionated words really hit me hard, no doubt..
But sometimes when i look at the people that is brought to my life, i knew that life isnt entirely cruel to me. Life still rewards me for my hard work and i Thank those for your understanding.
None of you need to give me Anything. Just your understanding will do =)
And some have went back to their home countries. I will miss the days we've worked together and how we face FYP traumas hand in hand. ( also celebrating that we're not last minute-ers ).

Reselecting a church to attend. No more in touch i guess. Who's up for CH? =)
~Cheers for towards a more uplifting 2molo... and im one step ahead to my dreams~ =D

Months away

2010-11-14T07:00:00.000-08:00

A few months of working made me learn a few lessons..

Firstly is we really have to learn to smell the roses along the way.
Second, Having the right attitude towards everything.From here, you get to see a clearer picture of everyone and everything. Thats how Mr Architect comes with his CARD haha.

At times we have to accept a situation that May happen If you're an ass its okay as long as you are their 'person of interest' ( applies not related to friendship and formal colleagues ). Its wierd but true. I don't do that although the entire family can see who is and who arent. It ain't ethical. and I'm defintely not doing it (Never said i will ever do it ). Just learning to accept that shits happen and people Are selfish

My throat bleeding experience and time sacrifices?
Who the heck cares right? it doesnt really matter how reality is at times. its how u present it and even its cruelly twisted, Its okay... but to make sure other gets the picture? ha! i can assure u.. living up to others expectation will never ever land u Anywhere..

I better start performing calculations before i become a total retard. ( i hate being in brain-dormant mode )

Hola~!

2010-10-06T17:23:00.000-07:00

been ages since i came here... Theres pretty much no point =P. Stressed at work? Not exactly. If i were to have stressed it had to be "Out of work " issues.
Tired looking at facebook.
Facebook seemed to be a 'drama tool' or image strengthening. Chapati is another person altogether in real life, but a seemingly ' loving brother ' on the walls of facebook. LOL

I'm not discriminating. It takes time. Seriously. It'd be best of its true. I'd take credit for him ( for real or not of his effort ).

What will i be up to? Heads up completing my 'project' =P.
Formalities. Get real. Be genuine.

Keywords sometimes are the best description. Too many words can draw unnecessary judgement. Be simple. Be straight forward. And take my/others word for it. I meant this and nothing else!

Today matters

2010-08-23T22:39:00.000-07:00

Gosh I missed those sessions by Richard rajoo... Looking forward for more sessions. Time spent here are more productive :)

How good air bender was

2010-08-07T12:04:00.000-07:00

I must say that air bender is an awesome movie as how a perticular wanabe wud say... Excellent in aiding ppl with months of insomnia problem effortlessly.. Looking fwd to a greater weekend ahead .. Haven't been to church in a while... Missed seeing sincere .,people of great compassion.... I hope to meet more people like that in d future... Ppl like my current boss ... My beloved school's saying ...Nisi Dominus Frustra.. I seek more aspiring moments from the world... Thank you for the opportunity..... :)

Baby Steps becoming an Engineer- #1# Be The problem solver

2010-07-30T10:40:00.000-07:00

The crucial role of an engineer typically lies in the problem solving skills.
So i applied it every stage i could. Its a very helpful soft skill, i must say.

Now, who says problem solving skills revolves only in working/ technical field?
Heres a situation where it can be applied to other than in management and leadership perspective. Words are clearly straight forward.
( No hidden agenda. Any tinge or issues of discomfort WON'T b associated with any unforseen situation that wasnt mentioned in context!)

Previous months of sweat and blood was extremely tormenting but rewarding towards the end. We all had our moments for sure. Somewhere, somehow.. its a journey we all must go. I spent my previous few years travelling daily by university shuttle and a train. People had the mindset that i drove every single day while the fact that It wasnt. My life for 4 years was waking up before dawn just to reach for a 9 am class. yess.. 3 hours preparing for it.

And yeah, it takes a toll on your performance. I made a pact with my family though. That my brother gets to take turns with me between taking campus accomodation.
But he ended up using 3/4 of his university life with the amenities. ( I'm okay with that by the way. So theres nothing worth cookin up about this. Its FINE)
This is a step just to make sure that our dad will be at least taken care by one of us.

When it was my turn to be there ( i choose my final year because i've seen how MY SENIOR's worked). It Still takes a toll. especially in terms of efficiency. I had to work a thousand times Harder than any normal person in my class to catch my grades up. Thanks to cooperative classmates, while being very stressful.. we've survived our way through...

I guess when you do things the right way, you'l be rewarded the right way.
I was given a very great, wise and objective supervisor. In fact, my ONLY motivation to kickstart my Design Project from week 3 was merely his kind intention to the whole 2 groups by saying " before (all) of you graduate, I'l grind ( he meant mould and train ) you all to be GOOD ENGINEERS".

Now THAT is a huge sentence of motivation that led me started it with full enthusiasm. Wasnt the marks in the first place. Why? Because previous years didn't prove that it'd be possible. =)

Apparently, being commited to your work you'l need to pay a price. First few weeks and months are rather easy to travel back home. Sooner, the expected time has come where i cant even leave my work station ( in the 24 hour computer lab we all known as TISCRA ). It was pretty expected and I'm NOT complaining since I was prepared for a very long time for this.

However, the are issues that required me to attend to a little bit later. To be honest, they're issues that anyone could just solve by a phone number. My family member either didnt cared or just not independent.. at all.. Suddenly i have people calling me in to get into it. I did. and many of them are self explanatory. Most likely they Don't know how possible for me to be home, they'l make it a point to think that its just a matter of choice..

I've spoken to the Dean before i even enrol for this course. He made it very clear to me that TYPICALLY results in your final year will NOT superceed your previous year's results. Guess what? It DID! By very far and huge difference! Perseverence really pays.. and i seek the gratitude of my family's strength especially my dad that took my advice well. Let me have a peace of mind so that i can deliver and return him what he had paid for. I Didnt want to dissapoint anyone.

So I did it. And Theres a huge chunk to people i'd like to thank. I'm not saying I'm great or watsoever. But theres a truth that without my dad's cooperation. It may not be possible. Without my Supervisor, It MAY not be possible. And Without my previous tuition teacher's kind help, i'd be demotivated for the rest of my life. So, my first thought is a huge chunk of gratitude to these people.

They reminded me of the real potential i have tried to buried inside me.
They reminded me that I am more well deserving that how i was previously treated. They reminded me that I'm not far to reach the glory of success on what i used to be and continue to shine even brighter.

Now these are the people i get to see, get direct contact, with the clear picture on how hard i worked. Those who don't seemed to have some issues. Well, to be honest.. I don't know. So i just asked. And i asked very straight forwardly without any hidden agenda. My objective? Resolve the conflict ( should there be any ) or just bury the silence eternally AND forget about it.

Life is a long journey. You don't live it restlessly because you have unspoken unknown issues. I'm all for a healthy relationship. Wether towards my own parent, my friends or even colleagues. Its an honest and pure intention. We all have things we all look forward to. Why choose the rocky path? Why the mindgames? Speak now or never.

Happy Day to start the day

2010-07-29T21:51:00.001-07:00

McD for breakfast today.
Had great laugthers and jokes. Mr Chan commented and gave feedback. Im supplied with inputs. Works can progress after all! Gambateh to myself! Will strive through the baby steps of an engineer ^^

Life is Good.

Alternative way of putting things

2010-07-29T15:19:00.000-07:00

I've been getting this. But why? Even my own employers don't do that.
Perhaps another lesson to learn? The concept of trying to put " Who's the boss here?".

Perhaps I should just join marlene once i get the chance to. Less headache. Serene yet challenging place. Not to mention everything else will be well taken care off. When life gives u a lemon, perhaps showing you're the watermelon may not be the best solution. I'l be fine. I've survived half a decade under wrong perception of other people's undeserving restlesness.

I don't know why the "who rules" concept started, and the best part is, candidate choice..
Because, I perform my duties in honesty?
Or because against your mindset?

I've learnt these years that what u see isnt always what is the truth.
Perhaps a Benefit of a doubt for you? I don't know. Who know if you need one if you don't speak up and in self jumpy mode?
A blacklash isnt a way to work things out. Backdoors and back stabs too.

Work is gud. Colleagues are nice. I prefer a little bit of fast pace-ness though.. not used to Do-nuts mode. Yes. Better things to look forward to. I just paid my gratitude to Goddess of Mercy, Its been a while since i visited her.

I hope i will be able to manage it. My next step will be a demanding journey. ( the one in plan of course). Who should i go visit first once i get the chance to? =)

Graduation - A new chapter

2010-07-28T19:08:00.001-07:00

I was there on the day I knew I carved a smile in heaven.
Everyone, in every part of this world has been anticipating for this day.
I don’t even remember how many times I was asked this question “Have you graduated?”

This is the one time that no one will be the one asking from now onwards.

I’ve heard a huge percentage of friends are already exploring working life. Most of them are happy with where they are. My objective now, a mapping towards a new career pathway. Work so far is good, though I anticipated more is expected from me but perhaps training is still training. I haven’t forgotten all my mentors, friends, and my all time pet sister, Wendy. She has always been there for me. She shared her concern for career advancement. Its true. Though education gives u only a piece of paper, but it’s a passport to land you in interviews. Not jobs. Just interviews. Literally.

I hope I won’t let all your hopes down and live up to all your expectation.
Along the pathway, I did come across different people’s views towards my choice of education and career pathway. In all appreciation of their concern, perhaps It might be easier for me to take one step at a time. But I’ll ensure that I ‘m equip myself for all it takes to be good enough for the next stage. There are legitimate and right ways to a pathway of successful career. Networking is just one of the options, perhaps not ultimate. I had friends who are where they are with the right means.

What is the recipe for successful achievement? To my mind there are just four essential ingredients: Choose a career you love, give it the best there is in you, seize your opportunities, and be a member of the team.”
-Benjamin F. Fairless quotes

A very humble note and experience to share.

2010-07-13T05:22:00.000-07:00

Been through 3 job interviews. All of three different outcomes and experience. In my humble opinion, it doesnt justify the world's interview process but these are my personal experience so far.

1. First company. GPS. Awesome vision, with very straight forward answers in expecation.
2. Second company. EcoXXX. New name is changed to XXX for a reason to be elaborated later.
3. Third company. ABC Tech =P Name is changed because its the company I've decided to land my first job as an engineer.

First company didnt gave any problem. Perfect job i wanted. but someone more deserving got the post. End of story ^^

Second company: Invited me for interview. First interviewer just as any interviewer which tells me life aint gonna be 'easy' but was nice. Second interviewer was basically an.. oh well someone sent to challenge your fresh graduate's scarce intelligence. He has greatly gave me the "vision" stating these following essential interview questions:

Interview Question 1: "So what does your father do?"
Interview Question 2: "How did you fund your tertiary level education"
Interview Question 3: " What about ur mother? What is she doing?"

Im expecting at least one eyed is widened from your face :P. Exactly. WHAT kind of interview question to begin with.

I was invited to attend a interview for the post of procurement engineer. First interviewer opened up to reveal that another position is also opened to me --> " Project engineer." Being a graduate, Project's job function is fundamentally giving better exposure, so i was more inclined towards Project post.
So, passed with first interviewer, I was directed to the second interviewer in few days time.
First interviewer- a nice lady who Knows her stuff well.

Second interviewer- well.. an AXX (u' figure out the remaining "X's")

"Procurement engineer also got alot of things to learn wan..."
" you need to make sure the things u feed in is correct... u need to do a lot of troubleshooting if machine cannot work right...." (wow. engineering fundamentals. impressive.)
" u have to order and purchase things. If u hear sound from pump means cavitation lor....... means u have to fix it lor... You have to buy parts and things like ... u know and elbow... Im sure u duno what an elbow is.." ( The L shape connector that connects 2 pipes in perpendicular angle)

Haha... man... u just insulted at least half of the population's ladies who knows at least Minor housemending skills.

However, as much as AXX is he. Their HR called yday. They've accepted me stating that

" Ohhh.. we want to offer you hor...."

" Can I reply to you by tommorrow?"

" Yes of course."

Move one, today, ABC tech mentioned to me that they've accepted me and looking forward for me to start in 2 days. Instinctively, for a company with great vision, i choose to take up ABC =) They really are big time achievers, though is not a MNC.
I'm blessed, and ultimately thankful.

So, HR of ECOXXX cant wait me to call up them and they chose to call me instead.
Put it short, heres how the last few lines ended:

HR: " you are Actually rejecting the offer?!?!?!?!"
ME: " Yes, but thank you very much for your...........
HR: *hang up*
ME: ... Time" =.= Swt

I guess the feedback was actually true. Anyways, good luck for whoever who wish to take up the job.

Gratitude

2010-07-10T10:05:00.000-07:00

This is all i can say for the half a decade of care, love and honour from each and everyone of you =).

Though they were ups and downs ( As you can see from the whining of previous post ), I was very glad that all of you kept on your trust in me. The book made its way to the library. Through out this years, i felt at first, tertiary education felt like a task than an ambition because of how life has thrown me into a pit of hell and suffering. I had all the reasons in the world to give not to do it and just place it next to a dumpster.

It just started with a note of sharing,.. by a friend who simply cared. Her gesture was simple but made all the difference. You made me realise, I will have someone to turn to.. whenever i need you =).

Next, is a friend who points out how much i must not leave out the people im given in life. While i was whining how i was ungratefully treated by the selfish ones around me, my Lil Pui told me that I dun have a reason to give up as I have very good friends around me. Thanks to her, i realise i DO have ppl who appreaciate me and their number increases by the day =).

Mentors
I'm always blessed with great tutors.
K.S & Mr. Lee
You were the first who gave a helping hand when i never even asked. You were concerned with what happened to me, and educated me as a student and a teacher to others.

Dr Dominic
"Anything is possible". Is the one phrase u said that made me realised while i was insignificant and worthless, that I too can shine and its not very far away to be there.
" I will make sure by end of your project, you all will walk out to be Good engineers"
This was the One phrase that fired everyone up in your group. I don't know why, i seem to have good faith in that sentence, well said.. =)

Tutors
First who reminded me that i have what it takes all this while, I just needed to be confident of myself. - Just as how everyone wished to tell me
Thankful for the shared words of wisdom, which is sadly mistaken by lower level friend (well.. it was only 1 friend actually. the rest of them arent shallow, ahaha) as "different level of interest".

King Endimion.
Given another chnce to choose.. 1st class guaranteed but abandoning you? I would have still chosen what I have chosen... 3 years being home with you and final year in Uni. It still paid off. Truth prevailed. Injustice justified, results proven. God is fair end of the day, you deserve the love and attention. I may never say this straight to your face, but your well being matters just too much. And i do worry too much. So, please allow me to return your love and kindness for the pass few decades.

Geekalogy

2010-07-01T17:18:00.000-07:00

Surprising but true. Im in geek mode. Reading everywhere one the side project while also job hunting at the same time. Im back to what i do best. Something just cant stop running in my head... Should i really take up the Permanent Head Damage opportunity? Yee Mei told me to grab it as its very great experience. T.T dillemma. Im always on n off to notts these days to try to grab hold a pic of admin building.. probably i shudnt coz it the journey keep giving me heart attacks @@.

Finish of the charactr first la.. I talk so much.. Interview #2# is today. Wish me luck (I need to kick some phobia out from my skin ).

Peace, Freedom, and land of smiles!

2010-06-07T02:38:00.000-07:00

Yes. It has come! My days of freedom! I've even submited my very last coursework today! I should start drafting the storyline first and better get it done before i am in job-hunting mode!

I have photocopied the Distillation book and passed to Dr Dominic. Once again, i was very shocked. Different than how others have said about him, I realised that he is truly humble from deep of his heart in everything that he has told me. He was shocked how things surprisingly seemed easy and I was Shocked that how he actually perceived the level of my work in FYP.

PHD isnt the best route for me at the moment, at times, I think i need to regain the necessary confidence and knowledge i need in order to catch up things on my own. And passion is something which i know it can be fulfilling if we were given opportunity to get to do what we are passionate on. Surprisingly, no one likes Chemical Phase equilibria then and now, but i turn out to be surprisingly dodgy in liking this field. Well, till the opportunity comes for me, i shouldnt be complaining what i dun have. Yet, I should be always be thankful with what I've always been given!

Another day, essential words sharing moment with Kuroi sensei. She was upset with her colleague's judgement. Well, we've concluded our discussion with this saying:

"Don't be so quick to judge me, you only see what I choose to show... If you don’t like me, remember it’s mind over matter: I don’t mind and you don’t matter."

I've learnt over the years and yes it works. Theres no point trying to convince others what you are and what you are not in actual life. Mindset is something we cant change. We can only change ours for the better. And most of the time, we dun have rights to change others.

So friend, why wait for others to be PROVEN of who you are when end of the day, time will actually give them the answer effortlessly?
As for the shitty ones... all i would say is
"we need to encounter the shitty ones to grow, as we can never choose the ppl we are going to meet".
These are valuable lessons i've learnt over the years, and faith itself plays important role in moulding your mindset, and perception. Although its rather unlikely at many situation, but faith really does bring you to get things done the right way. Without the important ppl around me throughout the fyp period, i would have clearly lost track and strength to continue my path!
Of course, it hurts alot when ppl i have known for 4 years are telling me " this is how you climb the ladder. You climb UP the ladder" For pete's sake, For a stranger, i can understand. But a four year period isnt enough for you to understand what kind of a person i am?
I guess the year you are born really matters. Such mindset agrees with ppl of Chapati's age but not for mine. Im in no position to discriminate on them but its surprisingly a strong stat of ppl are of the same batch. But end of the day, as Randy Pausch's words comes back to me saying " If you Lead your life the RIGHT way, Karma will take care of itself. The dream will come to you". Its true.

I havent been taking shortcut for as long as i have been doing in all my FYP work. I do agree that, i realise my own bad habbit of not being meticulous enough for the overall plant pfd. This is one thing that i learnt that i need to be more thorough.
I lived with conscious that she has been watching from above. And my believe that she is Always around is true. So, my hard work is for her and only her. Its not anything unworthy name of fame that many of you perceive. You can have that, as it doesnt have much value that i feel for.

I know when everyone has seen the real hardworking side of me, there have been fears on your faces. But you can't put me down for putting in real efforts right? What is so disadtage to you when i am working hard for myself? without even doing anything affecting you and im doing it right? Its really scary when one sets its mind on judging who you are,having the thought of
" it can never be that its You being wrong in perceiving others. It has to be others fault!" While having this mind, but too chicken to admit?
Well, truth is if i were to continuously dwell on how wrongly things should have been for one to be successful...... I'd be no other different that you.

And please, no words like " If i dun done onto others, others will do onto me" have u ever thought that things come to you because you would have done onto others in this manner? Your true 'potential' for them is really a Mirror of truth!.

I'm blessed within. And i know it has to come from YOu =) Thank you for telling me what kind of people i will meet in the industry. Thank you for giving me a perfect mentor and supervisor that has excellent guiding and passionate in helpin others!
Its not easy to land with one in the first place!

I'l take note of what this piece of gift, after half a decade from You up above...

Xiao Zhu's pathway

2010-05-13T14:10:00.000-07:00

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PZBgtQqm0HQ

Finally, i see the picture. I've learnt that the pathway i took is just like how xiao zhu is doing. The journey for us is equally filled with a lil bit more thorn than others. ( Not that its smooth for others but they had 'the special' ways to get rid of most of the thorns that get in the way ^^).

How so? Because we appear as what we are. Others, though not ALL, but 99.99% arent.
When the incident of the Net scandal came up, he broke down explaining his hard work and the consequences of him being himself. He got cheated from an online girl he befriended, resulting him in severe & devastating consequences.

" I never know anyone would harm me in such a way. My intention was just to make friends genuinely in the right way everyone makes friends. Just a normal way like anybody."

Sigh. I understand your pain. The smile and gladness you have when u see a friend coming... is very hurtful and devastating when a stab with a knife is returned instead. Especially when it wasnt even a straight blade knife. It came as a Keris- the one with some twist in it. =S The girl even added non-sensible kinda stories on top of the chat they had. Just like how things happened to me and many of you in life. There can be few reasons for such things happening:

Because i dun't confront the person?
Or am i just the best person to be used since i am in no way any position to benefit you?
Or you are just unhappy with the potential benefit you may have from that situation? aka jealousy.

I'm very impressed as artist like him would have had 1000 ways of preparing themself to talk, praise and be the nice-guy-next-door with words that is never negative to anyone else. In short, create the healthy image like how he explained. But he is just naturally the way he is.

"We cant control what others wish to say " <--- very true words from wise guy.
But notice? Xiao Zhu had to take the longer,honest, harder pathway... but obtain greater rewards and return! The world by time can see his true talent, hardwork, yet humble character.. still loving and a fillial son. I just hope when the day i achieve success, King Endimion will be able to have a share of my success. I wont rush for it to happen overnite as everyone needs to work for their share.

So, Just like how Xiao Zhu met Fanny, you'l be meeting loads of such people. Spare a thought for others. My thoughts for the pass 5 years was just PEACE OF MIND. I never hunger for fame nor attention. Same phrase from him... Im just being honest, and sincere all this while.. not deserving your front and back stabbings. The words i heard of you May not be 100% true but time has proven that there are still truth to almost 80% of it. SHould i am unable to tell the right from wrong of the 20% i cant tell when as im no Psychic.
Im pretty sure you know this is completely true so LEAVE ME ALONE as you dun have any reasons to be insecure, Many thanks.. huggzz and kisses... bye bye XD

KeBataman

2010-05-13T03:20:00.000-07:00

No its not batman... its a hero from Batam who have miraculously gave my fren a living hell of 32 weeks, having reasons of

1. Sick in Hospital
2. Lost phone x 20 times used
3. Earth Quake
4. Flash Flood

... the list goes on.. wait i think out of 3 times in hospital, one of it is valid.. (probably).

OF reasons. I'm no sadist but if you're not intending to put your foot into your project.. why are u here? Oh wait, That was Another mistake.

Poor gal i never seen her so miserable. And end of the day, everything paid off.... Everyone is happy with the ending. I see the absolute reason of the project!

The entire class... probably faculty was anxiously waiting for what will happen. If this were a Taiwan entertainment industry show, the rating would have hit 20 already XD.

Sob. Second purple sweater not nice. Thin material. Lousy quality. Red is still the best for me after all this years... it has never dissapoint me.

It PAID off!!!!!!!

2010-05-12T09:55:00.000-07:00

FUREEDOM!

Yes Everything!!!!!!
-Interview dah habis! Looking fwd to meet Wendy to catch up!
-Lala land =D Mind-Free, Hazard-Free, Worry-Free, and i still love azeotropes! ( i thought i wouldnt have lasted until the end but i guess i must have loved them boiling at their same composition )

-Something i mentioned to Yuki last week.. that cracked both of us up. Oh well, they remained as a joke and more hilarious things will come once i meet my gals ;).

-For obvious reasons, i'l stick to my dear lil adorable students. ( I miss them ) for 2 years dedication maybe to them? So much for ppl around me tearing their own faces for marks.

-I just realised that there are stuff i just wasnt meticulous enough. PFD, i wasnt a person who is giving enough perfection to it.. T.T
-I SHould have labelled them properly. Oh well, these are something worthwhile knowing before its too late.
I miss shopping but quite broke at the moment. Perhaps, i'l find my way to In Touch again? Thats a damn gud place to get the right motivation I wont deny.

-Project B =( Sigh. Would i still be able to do this ? its sad coz it clashed with my FYP when he proposed it. Well, leave me a message and i'l know if ican still participate.

Anyway, i just learnt that i know my smile is worth so much for both of you.(No. not the one that has passed on. yes.. you) I'l love myself more from now onwards and wont let you feel sad on my grief for MQS this 5 years. Watching Fated to love you, told me simple things in life does work this way round. I'l retire from being the typical CSY and start life with a smile.

Heck. No. I don't trade. I still wont. Just as how i taught my students, life dun work such way. but indeed i will have less time to spare. So, time for second priority can't always be fulfilled. But you all know all i gave is from me and i wont hide what i know. The unbelievable ppl sent to me was something no other can find as well in life. So what does it tells you? Life is such.
Thats why ihave ppl i meet who can have mutual absolute trust.
- The cracked up joke says it all of self security-

A speech of gratitude to a few ppl...

MQS
I've encapsulated myself inside MQS shell long enough. Its time to undergo metamorphosis. I just realise, you're never forgotten in this 5 years without the need of me being the carbon copy of you. And I learnt out why you met ppl who loved you and made u sad. We're too giving. At times, its still crucial for us to love abit of ourselves.
I'm sure you've seen what I've done with the same unfairness- to answer ur question of what always have happened.

Imoto. Sorry hor. haha since u started Your final year, i decided that you can take ur time until you feel like catching up again. Congrats being almost 1 year in workforce! =D and nice to meet u in a hot-office lady outfit!

Kimiko, though there were hardships along the way, i really appreciated the words you've given me all along. It taught me how to protect myself along the hardships of FYP (Turns out that these are harder stuff to manage compared to technical things in my FYP). These info, by far are still quite true from how i monitored.

GAN ENG CHIN + ASHLEY + MARLENE
Eh you ppl all gone case d la... started working XD. Sorry Marlene for nt turning up in ur brother's wedding. i was working on that day =( but i guess harder to meet d since the last time i kept trying to gather ppl after we finished form 6...

last 1. HOLIDAY!!! i MAU HOLIDAY~~!!!!! Road trip anyone? Maybe first one with King endimion.. the rest you guys give me 2 weeks notice hor. nt easy to plan. I miss the Ipoh one back in year 1 hahhaha so damn fun minus the part where i lack acomodation. T.T

Awww

2010-05-05T08:32:00.001-07:00

Kuroi sensei forwarded this. Though i doubt if such person exist, but its a story is just too sweet...

The Good Husband

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company's Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but the drinks didn't taste like alcohol at all. He didn't even remember how he got home from the party. As bad as he was feeling, he wondered if he did something wrong.

Jack had to force himself to open his eyes, and the first thing he sees is a couple of aspirins next to a glass of water on the side table. And, next to them, a single red rose!! Jack sits up and sees his clothing in front of him, all clean and pressed.

He looks around the room and sees that it is in perfect order, spotlessly clean. So is the rest of the house. He takes the aspirins, cringes when he sees a huge black eye staring back at him in the bathroom mirror. Then he notices a note hanging on the corner of the mirror written in red with little hearts on it and a kiss mark from his wife in lipstick: "Honey, breakfast is on the stove, I left early to get groceries to make you your favorite dinner tonight. I love you, darling! Love, Jillian"

He stumbles to the kitchen and sure enough, there is hot breakfast, steaming hot coffee and the morning newspaper. His 16 year old son is also at the table, eating. Jack asks, "Son.. what happened last night?"

"Well, you came home after 3 A.M., drunk and out of your mind You fell over the coffee table and broke it, and then you puked in the hallway, and got that black eye when you ran into the door. Confused, he asked his son, "So, why is everything in such perfect order and so clean? I have a rose, and breakfast is on the table waiting for me??"

His son replies, "Oh THAT... Mom dragged you to the bedroom, and when she tried to take your pants off, you screamed, 'Leave me alone, I'm married!!'"

Broken Coffee Table $239.99

Hot Breakfast $4.20

Two Aspirins $0.38

Saying the right thing, at the right time. PRICELESS

Makan Makan

2010-04-30T17:42:00.000-07:00

Its time for some good chill-out session before i meet Mario again in exam hall....
Hmmm some interesting feud i saw between her and her anonymous. Oh well, with that kinda attitude, inavitably you'l go around offending another person... in any other day. None of my business. Such ppl with a serong mindset. Back then when as a coursemate ppl's sincere care also u treated like trash. I was warned well.. no point to being considerate for u since many years ago.. months after months... your true self still surface. And i can see that you still go around making ppl ( which i dun even know who ) upset. Well, sadly, i've got my own stuff to do now. And uncertainty days are over.

Maybe you have a mindset of " If i dun do unto others... others would have done the same onto me" , then lets hope we both believe in karma. Its not a matter of days i see that. Finally someone agrees with me. Duno who, at least i get to see justice... though that fella.. whether you are a guy or gal choose to remain anonymous =P. okay la.. i never laughed at her or what.. i just felt sorry to help ppl like dat. no point, and waste of my time and her own stupid time consuming effort.

Guessed i've done what i could for her. till you guy's next kiasu-ness comes....... ciao......

TGIH- Thank God It Happened.

2010-04-29T21:48:00.000-07:00

First things first.... FREEEDOM~!!! Though not absolute la.. still got interview and exams but still.... the big headache is off for the moment...

Done with celebrations and stuff..

Next was some petty issues.. ( yup they are now ) just lived to realised that i am actually glad that those 'moment of uncertainties' happened back then. Else, i wouldnt have known that there are such viscious side of ppl i've known for so many years.O.o Still digesting on that fact until today. But the truth is the truth. gotta learn to accept reality as it is.
Advise from an experienced girl.. " Act Dumb. Pretend Stupid. buat bodoh. Dumbo mode." turns out to work after all. Less IS More... =P But not everyone is in a position to execute and hell yeah.. theres actually no point.

Difficult days are over. ( Their drama and all) Pity my dear friend, had to live with all their unfair inferences. All had to bear consequences of their quick presumption. =S sad but true.. so what kind of friends if you make such judgement upon other based on surface level-petty-issues.. shows how much ur fren mattered to you.. sigh.....

yesterday's masseur was good.... though her strength in extracting is super painful and their service is freaking expensive... haha I've learnt a new thing today too..... And my discussion with Kuroi sensei who JUST FINISHED HER TEST!!! ( bravo gal). Looking forward for less shallow moments with less shallow ppl =P.
As for my coursemates..... poor nafisa... though i was partial victim but i do feel the pain of seein that much tears in her..... sigh hope i wont be so unlucky for such things to happen to both of us again...

So.. beyond all this.. things happened for a reason. I needed to know the real them to prevent my future mishaps that would have been happening onto me. Cant imagine how many more 'fitnah' incident i'l land into if i never know that side of them... Secondly... Whats with problem in uni when the ppl in society are 1000 times shittier? Learn the wise words from my supervisor...." its a big bad world out there" these stuff on these ppl are just "Appetizers"! Learn it all gal! I've nt given up on life. This taught me that its more than meet the eyes.. made me stronger. and what dont kill u makes u stronger.

More wisdom and passion to learn from my supervisor. Pride of my uni life and years of education!!!! Fuck the rest of the shit away =P

The next stop?

2010-03-14T06:25:00.000-07:00

Havent have the brains to think of it yet. But another door opens this time =)
Why? I just realised that during the previous years, I have confined myself for other's sake. Thinking that immobilise myself because of people back at home would be something better for everyone.

Well, things don't necessarily turn out well that way. I just realised that Chapati may want to start abroad in Singapore. I have less to worry. So, any other options out there ( any country ) wouldn't matter anymore. King Endimion? Its just 2 person. If i were to work so far away, I'm sure i'l bring him along. Singapore for Chapati is just another excuse. It favors him even more when he knows he can throw that responsibility away.

Finally, i will be given a chance. Engineering practice or not doesnt really matter. What i need to know to keep me staying is sufficient. People's mindset is something you can't change. Village practice is something you can't change.

I'm moving forward. =)
(Yes, as a faithful daughter. I wont abandon the person who brought me to what i am today ). I have people around me who have always felt the imbalance side of fairness of life towards me. I've stumbled obstacles. But because i kept values which i was taught, it has made me stronger. It made me opened up my mind and it made me open up my world while rewarding me with the right ppl. And true enough they may not stay like that forever, I'l continue to move forward with it.

At least i know, by now the road that lies ahead isn't gloomy anymore. I see a path. And i will move towards it. For those who wish to closed the pathway for me. Thank you for letting me see another side of life.
My relative out there ( who is reading this blog ) thank you for the correspondence all these years. Though i have been terribly busy but i am very grateful for the occasional mails i received over the years.
And yes, the day for me to return my parent's blessing will come soon. Thank you for the support back then when i had a down turn in my life. Life may not be easy but i guess She blessed me with the right ones to help me stand =).

Rest assured

2010-03-07T00:10:00.001-08:00

Rest assured that i have better doubts and more certain that the end is here... Week God-Knows-what YET havent started my design. And yea.. i hate Jacob =_=. The stupid mathematician that made my life far so much more miserable.

Design oh design. pls behave

Simple rules that every girl should know

2010-03-05T04:35:00.000-08:00

These are answers to the simple things that naive-young-inexperienced teenage girls are all asking themselves.

#Rule 1#
A guy who loves his girl, never.. (I mean NEVER ) has a reason to stop him from confessing to her how much he loves and adore her, nothing can stop him.. ( Yes. Not even the lame reason called- shyness). If he says things like " Oh, i have these phobia whenever i say the word L-O-V-E i will faint and have a heart attack ".

Rest assured you are No where near his heart.

(No! the word Care is NOT equivalent to Love! Remember, guys mind are like boxes which NONE of them connects! So Care is strictly is nothing equivalent to LOVE!)

Care may be a subset of Love but not the otherway round!

#Rule 2#
Attempt in making you jealous?
Thats you being his ego-feeding machine. You are not playing any other role other than THAT! Seeing how far you go because of the jealousy is only officialise how much higher the level goes for him to feel good about himself.
You either have your time spent more worthwhile elsewhere than becoming his ego-feeding machine.

#Rule 3#
He is unable to be around because he is stuck in the traffic jam, and needs to rush home to rescue his neighbour's cat.
Signs for revolutionary steps in your relationship.

These are the small stuff no one thinks that they're anything worth your attention. From today onwards, if he ever gives u lame excuses. Don't wait. Move on.

If you're already in a relationship, Dump him.

"why not just hang on to it"
something you need to hang on to, means its not gonna last. So, why waste your time?

Personality Test durng FYP sesion...

2010-02-20T02:02:00.000-08:00

I agree with most of the content except for the job thingy. Haha if i were to settle on a regular job, what the heck am i studying what i am doing now?
Darlings, you ppl see and evaluate for yourself =D

Dear Yvonne Ryuzaki, below are your Personality Tests result:
Who is your true self: You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.
Your view on yourself:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are down-to-earth
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : People like you because you are so straightforward
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties
The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You like serious
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Smart
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Determined people
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You don't judge a book by its cover
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : So good-looking people aren't necessarily your style
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes
Your readiness to commit to a relationship:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship
The seriousness of your love:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are very serious about relationships
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : If you meet the right person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You will fall deeply
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Beautifully in love
Your views on education:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Education is very important in life
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You want to study hard
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Learn as much as you can
The right job for you:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You're a practical person
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Will choose a secure job with a steady income
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Knowing what you like to do is important
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Find a regular job doing just that
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You'll be set for life
How do you view success:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Nothing will stop you from trying
What are you most afraid of:
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : You are afraid of things that you cannot control
Ƹ̵̡Ӝ̵̨̄Ʒ : Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel

Crawl out from your hut and Fly to the moon

2010-02-19T06:09:00.000-08:00

*details above were taken out. He reads it. i just realise =_=*

Now back to main point of my post..
Was a confession necessary end of the day?

Or maybe i was never human? haha programmed to only functioning input to play a role to study with achievements and later be a full responsible daughter? I'm no self-boast but i know i will stubbornly love/ loyal to something once i am into it. Hence, you don't wanna land in a shit puddle. As for today,It never fails to impress me that people who've lived many years even in overseas may still have a narrow mindset. (no matter how young you can be somemore).

Before thinking issues of what appeared to be TYPICAL, and since you refuse to understand, why bother knowing facts that you can never interpret? Its not a TYPICAL reason why 2 ppl are NOT a pair okay?

Its not because he isn't Donald Trump or I have ISSUES. It's not issues of "Falling for looks" .. I've passed those synical stage in life. At times, ppl get so entertained by self fabricating what taste bettter in their mind- scandals. Have u even read the letter guy2 wrote? No right? Do you know the story on how i would be standing infront of her grave dissapointing her? Of course you don't. you never know how i came to Notts in the first place. So the idea is... you don't know the details. quit judging. You're old enough to be wayyy open than my age. It doesnt reflect until this mindset pops up.

You need to come out from your shell and see the world. Don't live i a hut anymore. Its not healthy for you mindset. Plus, always remember, fundamentals on WHY 2 ppl are together...or not.. Remember the word called "Feelings"? What about this thing called "Sparks"? Like my lecturer's favourite question sentence.. "I'M SURE YOU've HEARD OR SEEN IT SOMEWHERE IN YOUR LIFE BEFORE."

My point? Heck bloody hell its no Racism issues. Glad i got this out of my system. Back to FYP. Dominic Rules. Great supervisor. Don't wanna put down his expectation!!

Switching modes

2010-02-11T02:26:00.000-08:00

I had more than I had asked for. So I shall not ask for more. Somehow, at times i appreciate if others would give me my extra share of space i need to be away. That was what vacation was all about in the first place.. right?

I'm happy of the laugthers, the adorable side of everyone, which i unexpectedly found out. =). I appreaciate the similar life experience and perspective we've shared. Its truly something i wont be able to talk with my coursemates, which only either talks about whats the latest football team or the cutest guy next door..or which dress that impresses others more =___=.

Its true, of all people of his achievement, Dominic is still the most down to earth lecturer we've had. Thats how He is and he is passionate. Not everyone can feel his passion. But yea, i'm sure everyone has his way of delivering. But he does care for his students. That is what that matters. Right? (especially to students).

At Last =)

2010-02-09T21:41:00.001-08:00

=) we know the answer very well. So, why the question? But I'm glad that answer is something you called was. So, I guess im a happier person now. Getting to know distinctively the differences. Looking forward to chinese new year.. 2 Days off.. the rest of the days will be hell...

Other's would say " Bring your work along but i doubt if the thing gets productive over the 2 days." Well, If you're in Melaka, its very difficult to say. But if as long as I'm staying over. I'l get things done alright.

Braces and all the activities im planning ahead will really drive me crazy.. Should I or not put down Tokyo as well? Some extra thoughts to do after FYP finish. Sigh. Work isn't done. Why am I planning so far ahead? =(

Got an sms from him after a loong time. Nice to hear from you again. and I'm happy with my respond & reaction of it too. 2 problems solved at a go!
Should be celebrating it. Haha.
Back to work. Fyp Hysys Heat integration. Pinches.....

Values worthwhile listening

2010-02-07T01:17:00.000-08:00

I just realised something. Values are very much self-adapting kind of feelings. You only do it when you think it favours you While it makes you look Good applying them. When king Endimion was still at work back then, you set him as an Idol while i personally wasn't impressed of his job in the first place. Your fascination came up so great that no one can fail notice you even set up you ambition to work as same job as him. And when you failed (tecnically), you realise that maybe marrying one would be a better option. Next, when you realise reality that King Endimion's role wasn't THAT impressive after all, you began to despise him. =_______________=.

I personally understood reality, and manage to observe all the crap that has been going on. Well, mindset is something that no one has responsibility to change and if you think its a right way of thinking, go ahead.

I may not repeat other's mistakes but i do realise that if you failed as a child who return's his/her parents upbringing to you all these years.. you've failed completely as an individual.
Hence, don't put hope on how you pretend to aspire to be anymore. You haven't even gone pass the fundamentals. And pray hard that your own child will not do the same to you when he / she grows up! As at all time, what goes around comes around =). Maybe i should put this short word always used by my friend hehehe.. "taubatlah...."

In conjunction with Lovey Dovey seasons..

2010-02-05T09:47:00.000-08:00

Enjoy.. my all time favourite oldies for the pass 12 years.... Haha.. Back to work... FYP T.T

The Talk

2010-02-03T00:38:00.000-08:00

This module is really colorful. Never wanted to missed it out as that will be the last of it i'l be seeing it =). The etiquette of a lecturer with poist. The right emphasize of voice tone. I doubt i'd be a good lecturer as this guy. It'l remain as one of the memories in my undergrad. But i don't think he would want feedbacks anymore. Meanwhile, saw an overwhelming response in the talk of Contact Singapore.

My.. Notts are really kiasu.. Dead ass kiasu.. this is what i call.. =P. Some brochure and folder.. and the next thing u know, they surround the speaker like paparrazi. I cant even submit the forwarded forms given to me =.=
Sigh.. Like it or not.. Good or bad, these are the things i will leave behind after 10 weeks.... My life will be everchanging experience again from there onwards =). The same feeling appeared. The feeling when i was given the option to resign from Prima Agri for form 6 ( started earlier than scheduled ). Not Good. And I have always had this ever-long-lived-dwelled situation. Should get many of my to-do list done.

Chemical Hazard- Containment measure

2010-02-01T05:07:00.000-08:00

Seems that how many hazop steps done will be insufficient to bind or have adequate containment to this. Oh well, theres a much better way :D… Let it diffuse. I can’t lock the feelings inside a small piece of paper or memory. Why hide the smoke when you can put off the fire? If you have to release urself to the atmosphere.. never infuse or adhere yourself to anyone anymore for as long as you exist!!

I’l do whatever it takes to ensure you dun find your spot to adhere / adsorp to any semi-porous surface. :D explode from vessels, diffuse to thin air.. I’ve tried all it takes to kept you locked well and paralysed you. When you’re out in the so called Big-Bad –world claimed by my supervisor, you have to diguise urself as a mutated species so that the world sees you being too fierce too freak and too harmful to touch.. You shall execute the rules and regulation, and you shall set the definition of whats right and wrong in your own terms from now on.

its 2 weeks down the road.. I have a lot of interesting drama to watch.. real life ones. Theres a good thing being something like Andy after all!

死

2010-01-29T21:22:00.000-08:00

The title says it all.
How many more girls like Chow Soon Yee and guys like LCS im gonna meet again :S.
You know it consciously, but what can you do?

=(

2010-01-28T06:36:00.000-08:00

Having a bad throat while working on my HI now hehehehe...... Should I or should i not? Maybe not. I hate the fact this is going on right in front of me.. =( should remain dumb? or ignorant? Was in tears in Tiscra justnow... Sigh. I hate this feeling.. Shoo! Annoying feeling..Get lost!!

The Shameful evolution in Chem Eng =(

2010-01-26T08:08:00.000-08:00

Sigh. This isn’t good. I just realise that MEng is a lot about betraying yourself than building up yourself as an engineer. The shocking evolution I see in many of my classmates. I don’t blame some of them ( e.g Nafisa since she had a very problematic group member who only give excuses). It is scary that friendship in this year is not about how much you’ve shared in the pass and how much you wish to forsee youself with them as friends.. Is how much you can offer to the table. Result? Everyone has to have a 'weapon' in hand, a very sad sight. I have friends whom I’ve seen them evolved from sincerely kind-hearted to a person with his own agenda. The idea is, you can continue be the nice one and get killed being the scape goat or you be one that has something to offer while the rest have to earn their fare share for you to share with them.

Who are we to blame? It’s a sad sight and the majority always wins.. Everyone you know has a price, from their networks and brain cells as measuring parameters. Why so? Its unfair to generalise the ones who are born that same year acts like that ( though it is very very true ). It felt very painful to hear other presume you have friends for a motive. While they themself DO have their motive when making friends, and you know you just love the simplicity of a true friendship.. it’s wiser to hide the true side of you this year…. =(.

Painful,… In short… you have to have Absolute courage to betray yourself on the outside while masking who u really are in the inside. I’m no hypocrite nor someone with visions on fabricating myself to be manipulative. But I have values, and from the years before I have my share of ethics. It’d be a great challenge to start knowing what to ‘overlook’ them.. After all, everyone knows the wiser perspective. Marks are hell important for them. I’l be coorperative and contributing. I’l do my fair share yet shall not let anyone try to be funny to be manipulate that. I’l send them this message.. I’l get you the marks, don’t try to be funny with my fair share of it. I’m coorporative member, but not a nincompoop.

No fear, I met wiser people these days. People with rational thoughts. People who are humble enough to seek and respect your opinion. Also, peolple who are always there to give u a helpful piece of advise when u ask from them. We’re not perfect. But we’re receptive to each other’s words, feedbacks and move forward in life without the obsession of marks as the torch for the journey. It always works both ways.. Life isn’t too bad after all :D

Semester 2

2010-01-23T23:47:00.000-08:00

Exams are over. No joys of celebration nor fireworks of joy. I have 24 hours to rest before going anywhere to the torturous road of FYP. Don't intend to faint and hit my head again. Already have permanent head damage due to controls.

Wednesday was awesome.. I saw 2 version priceless expression. Will keep that in mind. Sigh, trauma... when will this end? Its So exhausting.. the dillemma i am in. My relative don't seem to understand how things works.. Yes i feel terrible for being unable to stay beside King Endimion and stay beside 24 hours. I feel terrible bad unable to concentrate with the arising problem. And No, i never put my responsibilities down. I just don't want him to pay a higher price because i cant concentrate in my studies whenever he comes around telling me whats bugging him.

Wierd~~ The drama of "devil beside you" suddenly pops up.. Is there a sequel to that adorable Taiwanese drama??? ^^ Haha.. talking crap. only have 24 hours to finish what i need to .....

The reminisence of year 2005

2010-01-15T17:32:00.000-08:00

The past few times ride out with them reminded me of the field trips to all the Hypermart/Supermart outlets as field supervisor with Aunty Angeline and Ji Guang. Difference is? Their profession... but the relax factors is there.. Everyone just wanted time off... forgetting what they do, and talk crap! Haha =P.

Thinking about that year.. it was a year where i abandoned and took a break from life and lived in complete isolated system from how my life previously was. But Would you BE able to live under those trauma? I jsut hope they understand. Witnessing a death of a parent isn't as easy as you think. I'm not heartless, and i love Mine very much, no matter how much i try to deny that due to specific circumstances.

I appreaciate those stupid laughters. I really do =) Back to nerdland. Gonna fail APC if i dun start wrapping it up even in notes section.

Yeay~! This is how u spell D-E-N-I-A-L

2010-01-15T08:07:00.002-08:00

Im in absolute denial mode.... Good for Smart S his hardwork yield results... after all the cheer, Im happy for him.. Yet can also feel his excitement too... once the lab is empty, i was in my APC denial mode again... +_+ I'm too terrified to flunk it and everytime i read it a strong voice of FLUNK and FAIL pops up... Paranoid? Something tells me at times that it may nt be as scary as it seems... but still... its already days shorter to the paper... after exams i have to face my second biggest denial.... bring King Endimion for checkup.. Aunty Stella called and voiced her similar concern as well =( worried sad, and paranoid.. I feel hopeless in situations like dat =(. Help!!

The Computational Fluid Dynamics finale..

2010-01-13T21:51:00.000-08:00

Contours are over.. and i just learnt something adorable and interesting side of both my tutor and lecturer of CFD.. Particularly my lecturer! Haha *evil laugh*..

The tutor is a perfect & nice one.. sure as heck he will be one as good as Mr Wong in teaching!!!

As for my lecturer, without a doubt...he manage to make his classes light..( but if you cant capture there and then you're screwed for the whole semester!) and lotsa illustration and laughter.. I have seen 3 different side of him this semester.

1# As lecturer.. walking CFD book can tell you theorems from Mars without refering to book or notes.

2# As *ahem * entertaining and adorable person.. Hwuahahahah I've heard the story of the Ice cream! Funny sial~!

3# The IM side if him.. dangerous to speak about. But we know the different versions.. shall keep this to ourselves... im sure the rest of you can tell from the different messaging windows XD..

Sighs... no more colorful contours next semester.. probably over the summer i'l play with gambit and Fluent..! for the sake of it...
hahah Kutu was like " don't you have anything better to do???!! "

Had a splendid night with my gals.. too bad cant join you all to hong kong.. *sighs*
Thanks Kuroi sensei for the wonderful ambience... more pix n post up next! *Kiss*

A Fresh Start

2010-01-01T04:23:00.000-08:00

The month of December has been a little bit demotivating from submission of the first half of FYP... followed by sleepness days of FYP ( Well, i work at night.. so day time becomes the TYPICAL sleeping time for me now... Haha i feel like a wild beast that hunts at night and sleeps at day!)

Hence, i decided to start afresh.... at least removing some demotivating posts.

Happy New year peeps and have a Roaring year ahead! =D

How to Become an Effective Leader

2009-11-22T00:59:00.000-08:00

Remark: content is 100% copy and pasted from selfhelpbible.com!

Everyone dreams of being a leader - the one in command. But to be a leader takes a lot more than personal charm and brilliance at what you do. A leader strives to bring out the best in others and leads his team towards the mutual success of the team and each individual member. We offer you some quick tips on how to be a good leader; achieving the goals set by your company and making work itself more meaningful for your team.

A good leader is not one who tramples over others, takes credit for his team's work and looks constantly towards climbing higher in the ladder of success. Conducting yourself well and focusing on the job at hand will automatically demand your promotion and the respect of your team. It is essential that a leader concentrate not just on his work but the people who work for him too.

It cannot be denied that a team, which works well together, has a higher success rate and ability to create superior quality work as opposed to an individual multi-tasking to accomplish the same. Leaders have the responsibility to inspire the team to work together by bringing out the best in each member. It all sounds fancy and righteous but how does one actually accomplish this?

To be an effective team leader you must begin with yourself. Simple tips like dressing smartly and actually listening to your team can get you started with being a worthy leader. We expect our juniors to accomplish certain tasks and maintain a particular decorum in the workplace. But laying down commands and expecting others to practice it is a fool's way of thinking. A leader leads by example. Even a simple task like being punctual can be easily expected from your team if you do the same.

As a leader, you have to create a working environment that is comfortable and encourages your team to put in an extra effort at their job. For kids, learning is best accomplished when we reward and praise them for their good conduct. It is interesting to note that for adults it works just as effectively. Acknowledging your team's effort will motivate them to work better. Creating a sense of pride in your workplace will work towards enhancing the self-image of your team members.

Leadership is a force inside you, which motivates you to improve yourself first. Concentrate on the small tasks as much as the bigger ones and do justice to all of them. As leaders we may consider ourselves an authority on a particular subject and criticism never goes down too well with us. But a leader who accepts constructive criticism with dignity marks himself as a good leader. It is not hard to achieve this if only one realizes that no one is perfect and life is about continuously improving yourself.

Several quick tips can help you take criticism in your stride and in doing so command the respect of others. Looking towards improving yourself and acknowledging to yourself that your team is a valuable asset can make you an effective leader.

There u go... words of wisom just from google...

Rash.....

2009-11-02T05:37:00.001-08:00

Pray hard my allergy will recover soon ... T.T.. fyp workload is endless so far.. need to push myself more to work fast.....

Believe and the truth shall prevail one day..

2009-10-24T09:05:00.000-07:00

Oh dear wishing well.... is there a book call " process control for Dummies?" Show me the direction on Where to BUY it...... T.T

Regarding to fyp... Should there be the day of summoning come.. was contemplated if i should tell her(2) the truth.. But Jewel said.. "aiya.. give her(1) the benefit of a doubt la.." It could STILL be that it WAS the real truth. " ugh... this is tiring.. =S im just trapped between these ppl's priority of earning fame and name and their conflict of interests...

These are the times i am glad that am a natural loner.. where fame, influence, and name is equal value as how Carbon Dioxide is perceived by human.. End of the day, you wouldn't want ppl around you who u can't even speak out how u feel right? I'm glad i have real listeners and I have ppl who I can help.
Lets just focus of these people in life.. where we get the chance to lend them a helping hand.. ;)
God has His way of working this out in life for us...

Assignments by week 2

2009-10-12T03:02:00.000-07:00

CFD
Have to model 2 types of situation out of 10 given situations:

This is what i am suppose to simulate.. results will be there for sure.. Accuracy.. have to be compared to experimental results!.

1) Backward facing step
2) Yet to decide..

Process Synthesis Design

Production of xylene process synthesis.

What i need to do with this is relatively easier than CFD. Economic analysis, Reaction pathway, feasibility, optimisation, and also plant layout in both drawn and simulation. Also, not to forget... my presentation!! =___=

Air Polution

Haha.. Too focus on the first two, i havent even read this coursework question yet.. Only realise there are bound to have technicalities which will be taught somewhere later.. no point touching this bit now..

Advance Process Control

Only know how to spell this... DIE +_+

There u go guys...... Pray hard I'l survive MEng.... =D

its 23 weeks!

2009-10-07T08:43:00.000-07:00

Been anxiously waiting....
Been using 20 weeks to mentally prepare myself....

MEng..... The journey begins!

No more dashing to 2 places...!
No more time to waste!

Will make sure i spare the time that my true friends deserve! =D mah precious jewels! dun miss me too much while im away ya? muaxx....

Gonna miss my little students soon.... =( could be one more month before i say 'goodbye' to them. Got my CFD and PSD coursework dy..

According to Dr Dominic... he says ' once u get to the working force.. you'l realise that the friends u know in university is the truest'...

I perfectly agree to that... but somehow from how i observe during this few years....
there are always be ppl who are well prepared and belong to the industry type...

Same way talent comes i guess..In born? hmmm.. yet to discover mine, but easier to spot other's.. and its always easier for someone wants to be good in certain areas in life... depends on how much he /she wants..

Haha... human are not perfect though... my own imperfection is unable to multitask, bad temper, terribly forgetful, and not systematic...
Well, I'm not stating it to give myself reasons to hold back myself.. but to tick it off the list one day where it will b no longer there...

Well, personal development or not... it only means i need to try harder...! Our 7 yr plan has to kick off!! I already see ONE of it is possible over the summer =)

Charity Fun Fair by Sri Nobel

2009-09-18T00:33:00.000-07:00

Upon helping KS distributing and selling off ticket booklets.. it seems this particular activities drew me closer to people's heart... Or should i say how much it reflected on people's heart on helping.

Its for a raising funds of In touch TBC for continuous activities such as running Kidney Dialisis centers, and also Soup kitchen in Jinjang. The tickets are sold in booklets of rm20 where u can also use it to purchase goodies and food items in the funfair ( will be held in Sri Nobel Subang 26th September 09). I guess this will be the last thing i can help them and my friend as i'l be away for sometime after this...

I'l say.. this charity event actually made me learn extra stuff too.... which i needed to see and hear for myself. For some reason... i think i should be grateful for learning that soon enough. =)

For those who are interested, just leave a msg / email at the comments section.. thank you..

The art of handling criticism

2009-08-31T21:24:00.000-07:00

Its been a while ;).. I’ve been initially busy with my summer jobs.. Sadly, haven’t get to draw what I wanted. My disappearance of several weeks were due to Working ( mostly), reading, and vacation. I’m trying to read up all the books which I continuously bought last year and preventing them to be pilled up in “the dust corner”.
Upon reading there was one small section on handling criticism. My world, was pretty much affected on criticism. According to John Maxwell, handling criticism is all about how you handle them constructively. Determine on what kind of criticism you are encountering by segmenting them into these categories:

Who criticized?
“Adverse criticism from a wise person is more desired than the enthusiastic approval of a fool”.
The source often matters.

How? Seek for how was the criticism given, whether its judgmental, with benefit of a doubt, or with kindness.

Why?
Distinguish if it’s given out with intention of hurting you or benefiting you.
An overall summary to this, and effective way of handling criticism is focusing less on yourself.

“When we were growing up, a lot of us spent a great deal of time worrying about what the world thought of us. Now I’m sixty, and I realize the world wasn’t paying much attention.”- John Maxwell

So, quit being restless on getting worked up. I’ve learnt it the hard way… and before it has to happen on you, why not sit back and sip a warm cup of macchiato ?

Keep it standing strong...

2009-08-10T18:23:00.001-07:00

HUGS, smiles, tears, joyous exclamations, information exchanges and clicking cameras were aplenty at the biggest Bukit Bintang Girls’ School (BBGS) reunion that also marked the launch of the Elena Cooke Education Fund.

The event, organised by the BBGS Old Girls’ Association, was held at Pavilion Kuala Lumpur, where the premier school once stood.

The Elena Cooke Education Fund, established under the auspices of the BBGS Old Girls’ Association, is named in honour of Elena Maud Cooke, who was BBGS headmistress from 1958 to 1977.

The fund was set up with the aim of meeting the educational needs of poor children, with priority to children and kin of ex-students of BBGS and SMK Seri Bintang Utara, with no preference for race or religion.

Source: The Star, Monday 10th August 2009
More than just a headmistress: Cooke (second from left) being warmly greeted by former students and teachers at the reunion. With her are Moey (left) and Phang (right).

BBGS was founded over a hundred years ago for the education of women in the country, and especially those who could not afford it.

The fund was initiated based on the same ethos of providing education for those who cannot afford to do so.

It is named after Cooke as a tribute to the last of the pioneering headmistresses, who embodies all the values and spirit of BBGS and all the headmistresses before.

She made a lasting impression as a teacher, headmistress, mentor, adviser and role model to the teachers and all BBGS girls during her tenure and even after she retired.

Good times: (From left) Star Publications (M) Bhd group managing director and CEO Datin Linda Ngiam catching up with her former classmates Rosemarie Peng, Cheah Yoke Kit, Teh Siew Yong and Joo Teh from the Class of ’72.

The reunion was attended by the guest- of-honour Cooke, along with former students, teachers and school staff members.

Those present at the launch were treated to a choir performance of their school song, a choral-speaking presentation in tribute of the school’s achievements in that field, and a showcase entitled Timeless Traditions that featured the early pioneers of BBGS.

Former headmistress Moey Yoke Lai gave a touching speech about what BBGS had implanted in their hearts.

“BBGS taught us to hold high all that is noble, pure, good and kind – the cardinals of love and truth.

“The BBGS motto states Nisi Dominus Frustra – Without God, All is in Vain. I believe that with God, all is possible and I’m sure the launch of the fund will see great success.”

She spoke of what Cooke had imparted to every one, and her belief that every one is equal and has something intrinsic to offer to society.

“Through the fund, I hope that we can give something back to society, and see more children receive access to education,” Moey said.

She revealed that the elders of the Jalan Imbi Chapel, the church that was responsible for building BBGS, would be contributing RM10,000 to the fund.

Pavilion Kuala Lumpur also donated RM10,000, while Shelter Home became the first beneficiary of the fund when it received RM10,000.

The event also marked the first time that the alumni were gathering at the location where their alma mater used to stand, following the closure of the school in 2001 and its subsequent relocation to Cheras as SMK Seri Bintang Utara.

Event emcee Norina Yahya, who graduated from BBGS in 1980, had the crowd walking down memory lane as she regaled them with anecdotes of activities during their school days and values they had learnt.

“There was a certain team spirit and friendly competition among the girls as we worked to contribute points to our respective houses that were named after five headmistresses – Cooke, Prouse, Shirtliff, Green and Maclay.

“The school’s spirit, values and traditions still live on in all of us. It was what we learnt and was instilled in us that made us rounded individuals,” said the law graduate who has dabbled in the arts and media industries.

Among the notable BBGS graduates are celebrity Datuk Yasmin Yusuff, ntv7 CEO Suridah Jalaluddin, Cilla Model Agency founder Cilla Foong, Pulitzer prize winner Fong Foong Mei, ntv7 newscaster Ras Adiba Radzi, TV3 newscaster Praevitriana Yuliaratnam, singer/songwriter Juwita Suwito, Universiti Kebangsaan Malaysia English professor Prof Dr Lee Su Kim, RAPR Mileage Communication managing director Datuk Nancy Yeoh, and Helping Angels founder Poesy Liang.

Proceeds from limited edition souvenirs that were sold at the event went to the fund.

The BBGS alumni will also be organising various events and activities to raise RM500,000 for the fund within the next two or three years.

For more information on the BBGS Old Girls’ Association, visit back2bbgs.blogspot.com or call 017-871 9357.

Back 2 BBGS - being in the precious land of BBGS once again..

2009-08-05T08:17:00.000-07:00

4th August! A long planned event of raising funds for the Elena Cooke Education fund.. All BBGSian.. young and old.. united in our very precious land of BBGS.

I manage to come accross at least thousands of previous BBGSian.. from my age until the age even older than our own parents!.. All BBGSian made great effort turning up.. and some even came on wheel chairs! The spirit i felt was revived once again!!
It was a full day event, organized by the BBGS Old Girls Association (BBGS OGA).
BBGSian from the 90's, 80's, 70's, 60's all the way until 40's... and out of all the sudden, DOME appears to be full with BBGSian!!

They can easily be spotted using the BBGS green Eco-bag

"We've lived the life and culture of being a BBGSian... though the school is no longer around, we'l continue with the heritage of giving education for the needy ones.. with the funding from this event."

These familiar names were mentioned once again... =P Maclay.. Prouse, Green, Shirtliff, Cooke... the Emcee, which obviously a Cooke house member, promotes Cooke house as one of the best house.. which attracted lotsa attention of the audience...

There was a booth selling all BBGS merchandises!

I've finally manage to get hold of a copy of BBGS Golden heritage CD!

Next, the events aside.. we even have our very own Mascott!!! Well, this bear is made for a particular batch of BBGSian to ensure it belongs iconic and special.. It looks Soooo cute... haha...

I've come across something rather interesting. A pictorial guide on how a 'typical BBGSian' would be...

Hehe.. wow.. glasses. and yeah..i'l always be proud being a BB gal.. =)

This is the group who did the choir and singing of our school song.. All the cultures were relived! Choral Speaking! School Song.... BBGS Centenary Song... Who would ever forget that!?!

One of the most memorable scene i must say... upon singing our school song.. each and every one of the BBGSian.. young or old.. stood up and sang together!
The feeling of tears rolling is inevitable at that instant!

I'm still compiling the pictures and videos. My video wasnt very clear due to me using a handphone to snap it.. =_= So far have gotten quite a bit of pictures from the gals... only waitin for more videos..Hope i can get it posted ASAP.. :) and will make a slide show CD out of it.. Anyone's interested?

"The BBGS culture will NOT be Cut Off by Time!"

Reminisence of BBGS legacy

2009-07-31T09:34:00.001-07:00

I am not sure who uploaded this... but one things for sure.. No BBGSian can leave watching this video without shedding tears.. It only reminds me how much i've missed it... and how bad i felt for not taking enough pictures...

The lab, Prouse Wing, and BBGS Hall.... all came back up into surface.. and i got to see the final state of the building upon demolition... it was such a painful and sad sight.. i am sure all BBGSian will feel the same....

Same events, different interpretation..

2009-07-21T22:01:00.000-07:00

Hehehe.. i find this few lines quite hilarious.. It happened when my supervisor

What happens when u talk to a sales person..

James gave me a stack of Application form ( 500 pieces).

James: There you go.. its 500 pieces... Remember to use it wisely ;P.. Save the trees ar...

Me: Haha.. James, since when you've become an environmentalist?

James: *smiles and turn around* (whispers ) COST AR.................!!

LOL*

What Happens when u talk to an engineer

"The yield of the paper of such quality will require XXX kg of raw pulp.. that uses XXX amount of time.. Your expenditure for expenses could be significantly optimise by XXX %."

What happens when u talk to an environmentalist

"Papers??? Forms??? What on earth are u thinking about?!?!?
For Heaven's sake... Why do they still continue with this unearthful plans???"

=P heheheh

Nothing is pricier than ur health!

2009-07-11T08:40:00.000-07:00

Went to an ENT specialist today... Oh gosh... waited since 9.. by 11:30 am i wasnt even called in.. and Nope its not a gov hosp +_+!!

I was worried sick... day and nite wandering to places, clinics, and hosp.. ( also for the tooth surgery problem).. I guess during the holidays. sufficient water consumption only is trully a wrong presumption towards good health.....!

Throat was giving me a lot of worrying symptoms.. I had to use many other things to keep me distracted from worrying too much about it.. Today, Dr Long clear my worries by stucking a tube through my nose all the way down to the throat.. ( a heck of a painful experience i must say ). He said there wasnt any obvious blockage...and started presuming it maybe due to inflammation reasons..

"If the lozenges don't work in a week.. might need to do an X-Ray"

Kuroi sensei... T_T.. pls pray for me.... huhuhuhuhu....

Just when i tot i have taken all the measures for good health habits.. one worrying one came onto me.... my vits c have arrived for few weeks.. will make sure its a habit for them to be taken on daily basis..!!! *ties red band *

meanwhile... *The Special one* is Baaack for a week.!! wanna meet my lil darlingzzz!!!!! at least.. for dinner????
Love ya....

Updates on to do list

2009-07-10T08:35:00.000-07:00

From the begining of summer... heres what can be checked off from the to do list..!

1. Part time job
2. Send parcel in post office.
3. Spring cleaning.. done repetitvely.. seems like no end to it..
4. Holiday.. done half.

Meeting my gals have been quite a challenge.. Even Wendy can hardly meet up since she started stayin in setapak area.. >.<

Meanwhile... i am still terribly sad and worried of my health... =(. Throat ( neither irritation nor infection ) felt congested. Not like any infection.. seems like theres some blockage there. =.= hope everything is ok. U hope it wont get serious.. and dun end up suffocating.

I've been having rather bad stiff shoulders too. so stiff that it scares ppl off the moment i start stretching.. huhuhu.. i miss starbucking.. and i need more holidays.. i mean. vacation.... really wanna spend more time with all d ppl i cared for...

wish my gals are healthy and happy too ^^..
Year 3 class ended early... can have sufficient rest on tuesdays... ^^
Dead tired for today.. TMPJ manage to obtain 6 entries... their average statistics. gotta go dy.. working 2molo...

Busy days ahead...

2009-07-09T04:50:00.000-07:00

Woo hoo.. My schedule is packed and getting full speed ahead! Why?
Weekdays -Full
Weekends -Full
Remaining time? Weekdays evening... T.T with spared evenings la maybe..

Well, at least end of the day... its lived with full of meaning... sadly, pastor Clarin's plan was erm.. delayed.. and have no opportunity to join in the significant event.. T.T

Well, the pass one and half month has been rather pleasant... being able to go to places ( though not far ) and get to sleep till late after noon.....
glad i was able to break the chain of the previous encounters of saddening event...

1. No one mis-using me as a friend..
2. No one make me "Sek Sei Mau" like the begining of 3rd year sem 1.... (sigh.. was never even thanked for taking the blame ... oh my, were they 'grateful').
3. No one using me as a relationship pulling tool.
4. Peace of mind being with the right ppl.

Oh well ^^, we can't change human nature.. but what we can always change is how we take them and the event....

Good news i've heard...
1. Marl's Onee chan getting married.. was invited but cant make it =(
2. Project extended for another 3 weeks!
3. Endless supply of anime....
4. Finally went to post office....... *events to be disclosed later*

Life is peaceful =)... lets sing a song that gives us a warm breeze to summer....

In addition... i've watched countless number of movies.. probably enjoyed repeating some of them... ( effect was better when i wasnt tired =P).. Hope can blog from work place soon ^^.

Home Sweet Home

2009-06-17T22:45:00.000-07:00

OMG... this is a very heart wrenching thriller..... Home Sweet Home by Karena Lam and Shu Qi. Watch the movie and you'll know why...O.o

ICAC

2009-06-17T06:58:00.000-07:00

Haha.. here comes the movie day again...Watched a movie by 王晶. I thought he was suppose to be a comedian director.. But this time he's the baddie.. and as usual taking a side character :P. But according to Kuroi Sensei, his movies and jokes ( in comedy terms ) are considered lame.. it was the other director ( which i've forgotten his name ) was good in humour.. Yes.. real humour-by-creativity... nothing to do with graphics and computer effects.

Ahhh.. i miss the good old days of Stephen Chow,.. where he was already a good actor.. but yet to start directing his own movies..

Anyways.. back to ICAC.. Not 'Independant Commission Against Corruption'.. but about 'I Corrupt all cops'. It wasn't as breathtaking as 'Connected' (starring Louis Koo).. but it shows the history of how the real ICAC came up.. Unlike Forensic Heroes, where the police force and forensic team standing firm on the side of justice, HK (Back then) was immensely corrupted from the core of the organisation. (According to the movie).

worth watching, but have no eye-opener expectation.. just another story.. but a meaningful one to make us appreciate how the ICAC came up from scratch.. Its pretty much of a struggle since back then, majority only thought the start of ICAC was a mere joke...

I love the role of Eason Chan.. well.. he was pretty much on the dark side of the movie.. despite had to choose to 'accept' the bribe ( since back then its against the ppl if u dun't accept it).. he kept his words not to reveal the mastermind of the corrupt organization.. yet paying for his part of his mistakes... Thus, living his future life with his all-time-loving wife May.

Well, the guy like Eason Chan in the movie aside ( because his character typically fictional.. guys like dat don't ezist).. but his life outcome is very real.. In this movie..

Eason had 10 wives.. prior to cover his other affair of his acquantainces.. he had to marry all of them.. and the total sum up to 10.. ( A norm in the 70's).
Only the 4th wife is truly loving and loyal to him..
When the outbust of corruption became serious, the remaining 9 wives ran away with his money.. Well, hell yea.. don't even blink.. this is what happens.. and just like Apple ( one of Eason's lover ) said..

"when it comes to money.. Even a 'father and son relationship' can't be trusted".

Haih... sad.. How ironic in life, a sad but true statement that i can safely say "Money corrupts all ppl" not only cops ( in this movie ). Put the obvious extreme case aside, some tend to forget their roots once situation changes.

Human tend to forget what life used to be.. in short.. their own roots.. I am thankful to have those around me reminding me not to forget how life has always been.. and what are the core things to prioritize. End of the day, when shit happens, money can't always solve it for you..

Money does bring certain level of comfort in our lives... What peace does it make when it is associated with brutality, infidelity, dishonesty, and false accusation?

Must have been due to whether lately..... Feverish now =(.. getting some sleep tonite.....

*Oh by the way, Anthony Wong cursed too much in this movie.. this is just simply unnecessary...

Best Voice on earth...

2009-06-16T10:22:00.000-07:00

This is what i call best voice in the world...owned by Hacken Lee....
Fell in love at this song the first time i hear it from TVB's
"Revolving Doors of Vengeance..." wanna start watching the full series :P

Who's with me?? Hacken Lee.... you're the best! :P

For Once...

2009-06-16T00:22:00.000-07:00

Finally took the guts to try putting my hands onto the culinary utensils again to cook. I admit that i only know how to cook minor and limited dishes.. But i am glad that King Endimion get to taste his favourite dish...

The typical normal Spagetthi.. Glad didnt screw this up =P

Back to spring cleaning :P..... tata

Gonna miss this....

2009-06-13T08:00:00.001-07:00

Oh my... the last episode was really touching...T_T

Kekaputan of my summer?

2009-06-11T21:36:00.001-07:00

Haha.. The kickstart of my summer is a little bit busier than I thought...
Here's whats been done and ongoing so far..

1. Apply for Part time jobs- enough to occupy more than half of my summer
2. Draw! (started but yet to finish for a looong time )
3. Shopping! ( only for Windows so far... Till i get paid in full I'l get the rest =P)
4. House mending and spring cleaning... This takes much longer than i thought.. and far more tiring than expected... T_T
5. Catch up.. Been doing... but not everyone is free.... =( sad that many graduating..
6. Read... Finished one book so far... simultanouesly reading 2 books now..
7. Sleep.. Yea like a pig now =P
8. Watch anime/drama/movie... Only manage to catch 1 anime so far...
9. HOLIDAY! Went for Singapore ( doesnt really count thanks to Energy management) going for genting, penang, Ipoh... etc etc...
10.Food extravaganza.... Had a bite in Jogoya, wanna catch up the rest with my gals =P.
11.Heels and sneakers hunting... Running our of shoes dy.. Need to hunt for some before i only wear slippers everywhere...
12. Gardening.. My garden is only well decorated with weeds....

The list goes on..... there are a lot of minute stuff included lar... not listed coz will make it a bit too lengthy :P

so what do you think? there a lil bit more than possible at the moment rite? particularly once i get my weekday part time jobs too T_T.. both weekdays n weekends occupied...

Wish i can be like this lil fella.......

Lil baby poodle on his cushi cushi zone... ^^

A Perspective alteration thats worth considering

2009-06-07T08:01:00.000-07:00

I think it was almost a year ago when Pastor Alex mentioned a story... about a lady went to a guy, telling him that She needs money.. for her baby, to heal her baby from being sick... as her baby is now very sick.. The guy gave her whatever he could in hoping that it would help the baby.

I've forgotten in detail how the story goes in detail, but it roughly goes this way:
After a short period ( not sure days, or weeks or months), the guy bumped into the lady again.. and went to her anxiously in hoping to update the baby's condition... The lady refused to reply him ( correct me if i forget the details ) and eventually admited to him " There is No such baby! I just told u there was one so that i can asked money from You!"

Now fellow readers, what do you think about how would u personally react?
Being human, i might jump into a conclusion of a typical human... but heres how the story ends...

The guy look at the lady in awe with tears puddling in his eyes and said " You mean theres NO such Baby??? Oh... Thank GOD!!!!!!!"

He never felt more relieved.....

So... what does this story tells u? When we help others.... when we still can... lets not be calculative.. Rose* have always helped her brother financially which many claims that he never deserved to be helped. But when her daugther asked " why do u still help him? just leave him helpless.. not that he appreciates!"

Her reply was " well.. i never want it the day for me to see my own brother died being slashed by loan shark when i actually have everything it takes to prevent this from happening."

"I don't want the day it comes that i actually Lost a brother Because of money that i can afford"

It gives alot of uneasiness inside when it comes to giving at times... And as humans, particularly from the ones thats closer to us.. the pain gets worst...( i mean when the part where u get taken advantage of the helped u offered)

A recent similar incident happened in my life lately... A friend, Stanley* pretty much did the same thing... but in many situations... the situaions are genuine... His life has been rather unlucky and just that instead of asking, he just borrowed.

At times, whether some remembers or not.. or whether their intention of asking is genuine.... if you can still lend this helping hand without taking too much of you... why be calculative? It doesnt take a piece of u and u wont get a mosquito bite from helping.. Unless it crosses the limits of jeopradising ur life and safety.

I know it feels like shit when others are abusing it... or misuse ur goodwill.(Remember, help only to the extent while u can afford to). And weigh it yourself with the following factors too:
Just think carefully..

"What if he dies?"

"What happens to him / his whole family if it could be completely avoidable?"

Well, end of the day, after the required help/helps he asked, he eventually went MIA too... probably intended to finish without a trace... but.. its pretty much expected.. But i accepted it with a smile this time....
because, i knew i've done what i could as a friend to give what i would...

At least, I've always helped...till the time i said its beyond what i can do.... and Thats the truth.
World peace and reducing crime rates are very scarce to be visible these days..

At the very least, lets make our world a more pleasant environment to live in.. even though we don't exactly have the power to say " MAKES This world a better place..." haha... ppl would tell me " You must be dumb! " to state this phrase..

*Names have been changed to protect the privacy of the concerned people and Not-so-innocent people involved* =P

Jogoya- Heaven of FOOD

2009-06-04T08:41:00.000-07:00

:D Billion thanks for Chong to recommend us there... ^^.

This is a latest benchmark for Saisaki's.... Sluuuurrrp.. Very fresh seafood... very fresh clamps too~! Huhuhuhuhu.... Upon describing the food. my stomach started croaking again...
This is my current first ranking sushi + other food range restaurant...

Colourful range of sushi... with a sea of abalone, Salmons, and a sweet & sour taste of orangy mayonaise....... =D..

Look at what i have done to the combination of food... haha..

It was suppose to be Lamb+ scallop+ sate+ a bunch of unknown combination.. but what the heck.. its freaking satifying... Just dump everything =D

Look what was one of the freshie specialties.... ^^

Delicious juicy scallops... finally got to see how it original form looks like.. (Shows my Jakun-ness)

This young coconut reminds me of an emoticon.. which i call it 'kepala bawang'. ^^

Marshmellows with a dip of choc... mmm mmmm~~~~~~

If the rest still doesnt appeal to you...Would these be up to ur expectation?

The picture below is suppose to be a mango pudding.... (round yellow hemisphere) and a Strawberry pudding..... with the creative thought for a moment.... i intend to add some extra finishing with the marshmellows coated chocolate...

Best buddies pudding =D
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Hehe.. there u go... cutey smiley mango pudding....

Really looking forward to eat there next time.. (even though the Price is exorbitantly expensive....).

A talk worth Sharing

2009-05-31T12:01:00.000-07:00

Hehe.. Its been ages since I've heard about them... I guess The few solid years of assignments and Exams.. requires an S.O.S for time management.. particularly this September T_T.. So.... No time to loose! Should i join the Parenting talk by Pastor Clarin? I hope i am not working on a project that time T_T...

Now, why did i reconsider? Simple... just watch the video.. Hope Christien wont mind.. Anyway, Christien and Lavin, sorry that i have been away... Really hope gathering like those days were possible......at least.. i get to watch the inspirational talk.. during my very last summer break before i start my journey of my Final Year project.. just as the both of u said.. faith is very important in going through the ups and downs of life... =P

Goodbye 3rd Year...

2009-05-27T16:31:00.000-07:00

Lets see what Mr 3rd Year has taught me for the pass 365 days...

Time management
-Effort not good enough

The value of friendship
-Wierd but i've seen both the Ups and the Downs of the extreme during the pass 2 sems...

Understanding true love
- Comes with a price if you ask me... c'mon.. the last time you dated.. how many people's mind u needed to clear off from misconception? Learn the art of privacy??

Appreciatng more a true friend's time
- They're always there for you.. and work just gotten them to be buzier.

Concept beyond the understanding of spoken words are best left unsaid
- They don't get it.. you can't get them to understand... Why bother explain? All they want is not understanding you.. but the juices of the entertainment found by talking about it..Better put in more time aspire in life.. :D

Don't waste time dwelling
-I need this alot... Life is getting more hectic! No time to waste! I guess this step is crucial towards better time management!

Study method-needs improvising.
-Have to learn to adapt to be more independent in studywise. Been having trouble coping with PDC because of that.... So that I'll get to put a tick on the 7 year plan checklist.. Its the fundamental stuff that matter rite?

Prioritise
-In life, where time is always a constraint.. i guess all you need is this... and I've learnt where to start identify them and elimitate the redundancies from now onwards ;)

As for the remaining bit which i May have left out... Dearie besties... Will put this important task for you to point out.. I've gain the directions i needed.. If if wasnt for the masks that others wore, I wouldn't have gained the necessary guidance i needed.

SOS Brigade: Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya Comeback!

2009-05-24T19:29:00.000-07:00

Its here Finally!! I was initialy thinking what on Earth has gone wrong with Season 2 of Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya~!

Its true~! Its Up~ Its Here! Slap and pinch yourself hard.... Bump your head onto the wall.. Its not a dream :P.

Here are the Videos.. Enjoy ;)

Firefly reporting from Singapore =D

Life is..

2009-05-23T14:16:00.000-07:00

Spending time with them last week straight after my Last CPD paper really made all the difference. I used to think that it has been me being over sensitive towards the feelings I have. I was really happy..

I am happy that there are some people who appreciates my time for them. I used to think that maybe it has just been me.

Well,Joining the feud of stereotyping, backstabbing wont bring out the best in us. I've learnt to take a deep breath and smile at all the sweet things in life that has brought me. I heard from Kuroi Sensei IT has extended their services from morning until afternoon. She also mentioned that i have to be there to see it. You know, watching these people will really tell you how minute on how hatred will only drive you.
Day after day, receiving one after another news about you gals really brighten me up..

This is a special post for Yuki... I think i've had so many names for you until i forgotten which one you should take :). Who is he? He is how you symbolically put as Yuuuki from Fruits Basket. Everything, the only thing i've known so far durng moments that i only see ugliness and stereotyping among human..

I just hope that life will give us a break.. No. I can't and won't deny it. From the anime I told you that i was watching the other night.. I knew that its only another series which i can only cry watching it. Nope. Its not any other sad version anime as fruits basket.

Its only an anime filled with simplicity.

A life which i can never ask for.Those of which i won't be able to forsee myself living through in it. Its a life, which i believe many would also want to live in despite its simplistic nature behind it. Looking at Irie's mom reminded me of MQS. Its not a choice for us it seems. Well, lets not have the same regret that I will have. Cherish every laughter of your parents.. You not only live once, but the moments you have with them.. as much as how they'l cry looking at you growing up leaving the previous toddler, child, teenage phase of you one after another goes.

Never take away the time you can spend it with your parents.

I know, that now is no longer a choice. I will have to take up the challenge on moving out of my confort zone to be self reliant and independent. I need alot of strength and I know you need them too. Kuroi Sensei was being concerned lately. Her concerns has always been genuine. All she wants to to stop me from being hurt. Well, having to meet all the sincere hearts of the world.. Of many people wont want to understand this feeling, I am still grateful. I should keep my promise to help those who are in need. Charity comes from the heart after all right? It need not be in monatery terms, but we can always give.. However scarce it may be.. End of the day, the help did mattered and it did made a difference in other people's life.

I've received a smile that day from helping this kid. When my little students enthusiastically run towards you offered to greet you.. When was the last time you felt their innocence of care and love? I know in the years ahead, the day i will be able to see this will be lesser by the day. Let us in life make a difference as i think it is never too small. Life will work its wondrous way out rite?
Things worked out in life for you, need not talks about only opportunities, luck and network. End of the day, it goes back to you as Karma...
I hope the future generation kids will just be as what they are.. Crying loudly when they feel like it. and Laughing excitedly when they feel like it. Being able to be yourself seems like not an easy thing. I just happened to learn this fact from many others lately, and of course including myself.

Refering back to the anime, Kotoko and Kotomi's duel for Irie appeared so much like the feud between USagi and Chibi Usa towards Mamoru.. Haha.. I wonder if that always happens if for families of daugther + mother.
hmmm.. Its already 6:35 am.. I shall continue typing my Energy Management coursework... Will get back to it with more updates from Singapore ;).

Love,
Firefly.

一年

2009-05-19T08:35:00.000-07:00

18th April

One year…
Can’t believed that a year has passed since…. The pace is so fast until I can’t believe that a mere 12 months have changed my life so much. It used to feel it as very monotonous and slow along the first few years.

From the first goodbye to a friend who left and joined the work force for the first time in life.. Here are the updates to feed your curiosity. First few weeks were really fun being an intern for the first time. I was very happy getting a very helpful manager as my mentor. I started to continue my passion in drawing and set 2 goals for them. Firstly, is to draw 2 benchmark character.. Mikuru Asahina, and Haruhi Suzumiya. Secondly, I promised myself to draw all the drawing that follows better than the other.. One will serve as a benchmark for the other… and this means it can only be better =)… Why Mikuru and Haruhi? You ppl should know better.
Secondly, my goals. I’ve revised my 7 year plan with my besties… and yes.. we’re more determined than ever to achieve it. Life has been hard on me, but with their love and support.. along with all the best things life has given to me.. there Must not be a reason to stop.. I will only move further. 2 of my friends has paired up and my days in summer were very much brighten up because of that. Needless to say, uncertainties in life still lie and other’s priority has awaken my thoughts. My bestie, Kuroi sensei , and Yuki said that occasionally, I need to learn to say ‘ no’.

Why? because the next friend I met was another wake up call. He is not to be blamed or another excuse for me to blame onto prior for me to be treated so. He is just another person in life, repetitively mentioned by My Queen Serenity countless times.

My words to MQS are… Yes, I understand and I get your message. I still love you more than I will ever learn to love myself. Your departure will never stop my love for you. During this year, I’ve learnt to control my emotions. Maybe not all, as I am pretty much already an expressionless person in the first place. Taking away more emotion will only mean that I will me more Zombie-fied :D
I’ve learnt the fact that there wouldn’t mean any significance talking about your uncertain feelings, particularly for those who will never understand…
I have learnt not to be hasty in making judgement on who to trust and not to.
Also, I’ve learnt what love is and what it isn’t.

I’ve seen the ugliest possible face and most truthful face.
But whoever is it, does it matter? Yes, I moan and I complain..

And get over with it. I have learnt to know what and who is worth my time and who isn’t.

I have learnt for those who understand and those who won’t.

As for my status, my answer stays the same as i told you... over the conversation. I've never lied to you about it. But it'd be up to you to judge.
Let me ask you one question.. Imagine,that you are a volunteer on helping to take care of a very sick, PROBABLY dying man..
If 10,000 people asking you everyday " Did he died ? " and everyday you will answer the question " no". And you will get the same question everyday till the man really dies.... And the best part of the question is... Its not about answering the question.. Its when the question exist. it is very Certain to the person who asks that the man HAS to die... and it HAS to happen.. in the eyes of those who asked.. So.. What would u need to to to stop this stupid nonesense?
It MAY be what each and everyone think thats BEST for the man to DIE.. But Is that what he himself wants? He will suffer less maybe. Thing is, in life.. it doesnt always work that way. And you yourself was my First mentor to teach me THIS principle. Its need not be a pleasant one.. but a very truthful one.

I feel sad for how things will never turn out the way we want it to be. But I am also grateful i get to meet true hearts. Out of care, they will justify what can be done in order for things to be possible. Well, Would that be a point if thats not what you want from the very begining? Knowing its a choice you would curse yourself until the day or your last breath, would you make a choice you think its against your will? I wont blame them for misjudging or making terrible presumptions.. This is a feeling they'l never understand. Its not about choice. Its about whether you want to throw you life away against your own will in keeping ur personal interest. And knowing myself, i will sure resent myself end of the day. I have to stop making decision for other ppl's interest.

And as for you, my friend.. These are the whole 12 months of experience that you've been asking about, nothing too far out from what you've presumed....hope you're doing well being in a distant land.. Glad that you're doing well... May God Bless you. Working life may be hectic.. Nothing comes easy, you just need to juggle it with a balance in life.. Remember to have the fun part in life. Neither All Study Nor All Work will bring out the best of you..

Kuroi Senseiii~~~~!!!!!!

2009-05-17T08:43:00.001-07:00

Hohohoho.......Back with good news ^^ So thrilled and happy....
Missing you loads... Wish the hell days of exams are over soon. Wanna hang out again with you ppl... Sorry i'l be absent in the second gathering >.<

Special post for a friend

2009-05-12T08:09:00.000-07:00

Just gotten over with EM2.. Theres nothing dissapointing about this paper except few days before during revision. Focusing the In's and Outs of the Rankine Cycle, I wasn't touching the coursework questions at all.

But in order to try out at least One coursework question that covers Rankine Cyle, i had to read almost every single question about Rankine Cyle from Simple Rankine Cyle to Deviated, until Reheat-Regenerative Rankine cycle.. ( sorry.. Energy management has taken too much of me... memorising =p).

Upon redoing Andy's exercise, i noticed a mistake of assumptions in that question... I noted it down, and gave a knock on Uncle's door and tell him without hesitation saying

" Hey uncle... the first question Andy gave us in class.. the assumption is wrong.. better not use that in your coursework later!"

I told him this because i know how bad it will turn out later if your first time understanding some calculations in thermodynamics is a wrong one... and since before hand in dinner he mentions that he only did 2 question from the back of the coursework.. and gave up on that 2, that means that he didn't attempt Rankine cycle ( which was the front questions ).

This is the turning point, as what we call in our SPM and preuni years.. the Point of Inflexion... Forgotten what he has mentioned to me before dinner that he "attempted Only 2 questions in the coursework so far and even gave up on that 2 ". Wouldn't that contradicts all of the sudden??
This is what the conversations that follow..

Uncle: "Oh its ok.. I wasn't looking at his examples while doing it.."
Me: "huh? I thought you said you attempted only 2 questions from the back? and that also you said you gave up on it?" (confused)
Uncle: umm yea...
Me: did you mean the front? coz Rankine cycle questions were only in the front.
Uncle: ...

*Moments of silence.......*

Me: =_= ...ok uncle... how many questions did you Actually tried?
Uncle: ....ermm.. I didn't count.. I think 4...
Me: Did you do any of the Front questions?
Uncle: Er yea...
Me: just let me know once you're done so that we can compare if the final answer is the same..
Uncle: .. ok sure..

I sat down and starred at my own notes, and shook my head with a deep sigh...
To be honest, I never thought that why would anyone intend to lie about small things like dat..

A few days ago, I still remembered when he said he has doubts on the Psychrometric chart, i put down whatever i was reading and spent the night reading about psychometry in hoping to be able to clear his doubts the next day.

Even though i thought that i have understood completely, i went to him and explained what the example meant...he seemed worried and anxious.

There were some parts that I misunderstood.. which i identify a few hours later which i found out upon trying the questions myself... Immediately i called him "uncle.. some parts of the psychrometric chart explanation was a bit wrong..I'm really sorry about that... i'll explain to you one more time ok?"

I personally don't mind teaching/ giving at all.. and hoping that i get the chance to help him or any friends.. I just hope i am fast enough and good enough to help..
I can't say that my knowledge about EM is very good.. but I'll try to help as much as i could.. I havent thoroughly studied the questions yet.. but i Have heard news by Hsiang stating that its very discouraging.. Hence, i tried not to touch it until i at least finish with knowing the Ins and Outs of Rankine cycle..
I havent really looked at all questions yet, except the fact that i roughly look through what scope they cover. Everything that i know, I wont hesitate to tell.. simply because there are 2 types of people i despise:

1. Someone who intends to keep everything he knows to himself.
2. People who intends ensure others are never improving from where they are for them to stand out..

But knowing all of a sudden, this friend who was humbly asking you questions many of which you can answer by a thorough reading of the Energy management book suddenly wont even disclose about how many questions that he has answered..
In short, i will only be clearing his doubts, and should i have any of mine... I won't get any.. We shouldn't expect something in return when we give... thats a right thing to do...
But maybe i am just imperfect, somehow.. i don't think I personally can accept the fact that I should consciously make a fool out of myself knowing thats the idea behind it...

I'm sorry to tell Kuroi Sensei that I have not been listening to the warning.. In our recent conversation, we were saying how this girl she meet is being taken for granted greatly.. by everyone she meets... As i encounter this, i do realise.. even though i am not as Happy go lucky like the girl she mentioned.. This cycle seem to bounce onto me.. just that this falls into the scope of friendship...

So... sorry to say, I still feel hurtful.. and there always a side of you that i know which i refused to accept, which i eventually learnt it trough the hard way.. over and over again..
Maybe u wish to brush things off the same way you always did. There Were things you remembered (appears to be forgotten) and there were things i faced great prblems in life which I find it very hard in order to help you. But each and everyone was a sincere gesture from a friend.. who just tried to help... even though at many times she need not necessarily able cope with it..

Be a loving elder brother from now onwards( or as you have always been ).. The same first impression i used to have on you.. Life is not easy, but solutions need not be done in one method onto everyone...

Regards,

an old friend....

Management Toons

2009-04-27T01:00:00.001-07:00

With the honour of taking project management this semester, i proudly present to you... some management toons....

Toon 1

Toon 2

Toon 3

Toon 4

Toon 5

Toon 6

Pic 1:
Boss: From tommorrow onwards,all of you are expected to lay 2 eggs by eod. If the target is not achieved there will be escalation from clients and i will not resume responsibility.

Chickens: !!!!

Pic 2:
EOD: We have completed today's task.

Pic 3:
Boss: Why have you laid just One egg today??

Chicken: Sir, I have done the least of that much for the fear of appraisal. Otherwise, I am actually a Cock!

Pic 4:
Kid: *stares* REAL performance Pressure!

Toon 7

Justify all you want.... till the day the same thing ever happen to you..

2009-04-26T00:16:00.000-07:00

For the pass few months, my life has pretty much driven with the effect of other people's justification. Why? Simply because, i was thrown into a clueless state of life.. and as usual, the feeling of fear and unable to move ahead in life without a proper direction.

We all learn from our mistakes. Similarly, a third person's point of view will never be the best answer towards all the problems in life. But, i do appreciate the intentions of thinking 'thats the best' for everyone...

Well, another lesson in life i've learnt well is.. what you think thats best for others may not be true for that person. Why? simply because.. no one else knows better whats going on in his/ her life.. other that the person itself. And for others who never lived that experience, which may never even get close to understand such feeling ( no offense.. but there are things you wouldnt understand.. till you personally encounter yourself).

Please, stop the harse and hurtful one-sided perception. You don't know what you speak for the sake of leisure and entertainment are hurting the ones who still cared for you.... no matter how distant they may appear to be. They too, have feelings.

Yes. I am not hinting to anyone.. i am directed to the few of you... which i presume you don't want your names to be mentioned.. just read...

Just remember, as much as you want "whats the best" for everyone, I wanted that too.
And please don't justify how things would work out. I know its out of concern, and you wanted to help. But really, aside from appreciating your concerns.. There are more than wat words can describe. We're all people with values in us. Please, don't destroy yours that I've known and appreciated for years.

Bear in mind, that aside from anger, and decisions that you may think is unacceptable. They're painful to talk about.. and with a vague understanding, your justification hurts.. and it hurts more knowing that its not from a mere stranger.

Its true that at the moment, no one around me particularly all of you will understand the pain that you are taking it lightly. I forgive you all with the fact that you don't understand the feeling. But please, just stop from scarring other people's life with a basis of vague understanding.

The Red Carpet Affair

2009-04-09T19:52:00.001-07:00

I have finally got myself a temporary time out session to blog after a full freaking semester of work work and More Work~! They're not done yet.. but i am rather sick of doing many redundant stuff.. Stress, Work, Complains aside... UNiM just had one of its greatest bash this year.

The Annual Dinner's theme this year is The Red Carpet Affair. Held in the Sunway Hotel.

Nope.. no one can see me... I assure you... i am just Part of the statue... see? Part of the Statue.....*Standing still*

Mafia Boss & Mus is back in action! After 2 years and Still loving Chocolate Parfait!

While taking out the tickets upon entering, Yuki noticed something interesting....

Hmmm What the Heck? Its LAST YEAR's 'Bedazzled' Tickets????? Hahah.. A good laugh to start for the night..

Food was ok.. I'm happier for last year's one.... But the first dish was rather appealing this year... but probably just the first :P. I have high standards for food ok?? Thanks to the FOOD APPRECIATION TEAM i have ^^.

Tempted?

Hehe.. Was really thrilled get to see uncle in action....

Wish my piano skills will be as good as him one day ...

The typical trend for the Unim's annual dinner.. Camwhoring everywhere...where most of the ppl are not seated... I guess these are the Parts and Parcel of the Unim's culture =P. Well, its a memorable event anyway..

with Quek

With the chemengers

Wei Jin n Yuki

After all, there are still certain significance of pictures... as the ones below..

Uncle and Yuki .... with the Mafia like expression

The soft side of them... awwwwwww

Firefly and The white penguin .. what happened to the Nottingham Ducks?

Still remember two year's ago Mafia's konco Mus???

Well, sadly this year he was caught red handed for the offense of 'Attempt-to-be-Paparazzi' during the annual dinner... No choc parfait for u this year Mus!

We were given free entry to MOS later that night too.. Haha but with a Broom Sweeping capable gown... it wasnt convenient for me to move around.. and i threw my casual clothes back at HOME =_=|||.

Yet, I still attempt to enter.. haha wasnt able to dance, but still manage to capture a scene which i named " Toilet Down Crisis"

With my great analytical expertise, i presume it should be Nagasaki Bombing.. launching stage.. ^^

Hehe... towards the end of the night... the main significance of this year's annual dinner should mean more than anything else... as most of my coursemates and other friends would be graduating soon. Don't wanna have the same regret i have for not spending quality time with the previous ones that have graduated.. It was a great pleasure being able to attend this year's annual dinner..

Enjoy ;)

2009-04-04T12:44:00.000-07:00

Enjoy with the cat and mouse game.... :) rest assured you can choose new candidate as new tool for it..
My turn to sit back and watch who are the new chosen tools and how variables are varied.. It isnt always pleasant being the one manipulated..
but watching the way u use the art of manipulation of one done onto others simply amazes me with the fact that how human mind can be pressured to push forward to 'plan' efficiently. It seem to work wonders, with no way of questioning and nothing challenges it. Believe it? Or believe about doing onto others as others would done onto you? I believe in Karma.... ;) May God bless you....

Life - still as it is

2009-04-03T09:21:00.000-07:00

Life is still as it is..
Same ppl i meet...
Same values were given...
Same beauty and ugliness can be seen...
Same expectation they have from you...
Same demands they need from you...
Same respect u want from them....
Same attention they want from you Yet treating u as trash..

As usual, they typically works one way...

Annual dinner is in few hours time..
As how i predicted,
-reservations is made..
-I have the least mood to be in the event.. ( Damn RND report)
-It may bring slightly more significance it is this year than next year's
(simple la.. more frens are graduating... and no more frens left for next =P)
-Next year left with coursemates only.. ( about 30%)

haha.. lw n ps... how i wish i won 2 seats for u gals =P... probably i shall ditch next year's and go a one night outing with u gals? ^^ Doesnt seem to have any sentimental purpose for next year's one though.. Yet, that is the one that i should have always looked forward... haih.....
I used to mourn, complain, on the different people ( sickening, selfish, manipulative and taking advantage kind of ppl). Come to think of it.. why should I complain? They may have always acted Manipulatively, Using u since day 1. And only a fool like me choose to believe it. Oh well, we're probably a fool at certain point in life rite? its ok...

probably being a fool quoted by John Maxwell are one of the crucial step ( you even have to be one repetitively before can get to reap the fruits of success) while facing different forms of failure..

Here comes Heaven..

2009-03-30T09:40:00.000-07:00

Can't believe my eyes when uncle told me.... I thought it was jeruk,..... once i saw it was 3 succulent mangooooooooo... hahaha..

so peeps.. excuse me for a while, need to go enjoy this in my secret hideout =P..

Once again.. THANK YOU UNCLE~~~~~~~~~!!!!

Waiting for Day of Independance (Truth) to come~!

2009-03-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

I am waiting,.....

I am counting......

I am still dreading.....

For the day to come for me to scream and shout out loud reality....!

The day i clarify and detox the sickening minds....( why do i need to in the first place?)

The day for me to announce the Truth.....

The day i want to put my life back together upon moving on to next stage in life...

The day i can live with freedom without having the mind of jeopradising the help to a friend....

The day where i have drinks with my friends and enjoy being a member of EBS group. Literary.. i am one... and who cares/knows?

The day where i want to laugh and scream to my heart's content without having to consider anything else...

and i need to wait until this semester finishes .. T___T ........
FUCK!

Hope i don't loose patience too soon.....

*breathes in..... breathes out*

Speaking of impatience... Heres one of the reasons why i don't play online games....
Enjoy :P

Education Fair yr 2009 by British Council =)

2009-03-28T06:18:00.000-07:00

I went to the education fair organised by the British Council today..
It was quite surprising to see so many Universites from different parts of UK. Since there werent That many UK uni based in Malaysia, i thought mostly won't have their booth set up here.

University of Nottingham set up 2 booths.... Yes... 2!!!! One is for the Malaysia Campus, while the other one is for the UK campus!

Best of all, i bumped into Tony Wilson~!!! Hahaa.. the lecturer for my Most Feared module...Process Dynamics and Control... Well, it need not be a most feared module after all.. Thanks to this kind, helpful lecturer of mine :).

He didn't noticed me at first time round. Once he saw me during the second time i pass by the booth, he greeted with a very broad smile.
"I hope you're not changing courses" He joked...

" Haha.. no sir..I'm here to survey some infos for friend and personal reference."

He was very helpful in giving out any possible information... and even promoted UNIM as a One stop education center for whatever courses i mentioned to him :P. -An all time faithful Nottingham member! XD

He is not a scary person as i used to presume he'd be.. hehe he actually told me that his wife was around in KLCC shopping.. indicating KLCC as a shopping heaven ;P.

Lastly, when I requested if I can snap a photo of him.. he asked me.. if I am taking BEng of MEng, I told him that I'm taking MEng...

" Oh great then.. I hope in one n a half years time, I can take a photo with you and your family on your graduation day."

I was really thrilled meeting him on the education fair.. i just realised... i wasn't talking to just a lecturer. It feels like i am talking to a father who envisions his child achieving every milestones of his life. And his words will really drive me to strive for that day to come, where I can graduate with pride having a great time on my graduation day bidding goodbye to my undergraduate life to join the workforce Or get to start my 'Dream Job'.

Will my voice ever come back to me?

2009-03-18T10:38:00.000-07:00

Thats it!!!!!!!!!!! I am worried sick now :(... it has been almost 2 months since i initially lost my voice due to a sore throat... which somewhere during the recovery period... King Endimion made me shierk and aggravated my voice..

Until now..2 months later... my voice is still not back yet....... How ar?? i dun want to sound like a toad... =(.

T_T

My old voice.. pls come back.... i want u baaaack~~~~!!!!!

*ps: That explains why you said my voice is different than last year... T__T

再见......火花

2009-03-17T08:14:00.000-07:00

Hmmmm... seems like God is great towards me =P. Why am i saying so?

Was given the opportunity to face it once again.. and it wasnt too bad...Not a bad thing at all.... since i never thought there would be another encounter..

I am just grateful and very happy........ At the very least, I get to say goodbye before putting you,火花 to sleep forever.. This is the very first goodbye that will actually be the source of my strength in the future. Seems like i have grown to be more optimistic over the years...

Not a bad thing rite? XD

But the experience is simply unforgettable... and being able to understand, learn the existence of you simply changed my life once and for all...

Now i will be in the next stage of life... aspiring to achieve more in life... career, education, friendship... you name it =)

Get to know yourself better

2009-03-16T04:41:00.000-07:00

Theres been a facebook chain forwarding and tagging cultures on personality test.. many which they asked very vague and abstract questions, but surprisingly speaks about you to the Core! ( According to my friends ).

Heres the results i got for myself...

from this website:

Your view on yourself:

You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties.

The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:

You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes.

Your readiness to commit to a relationship:

You prefer to get to know a person very well before deciding whether you will commit to the relationship.
The seriousness of your love:

You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love.

Your views on education

Education is very important in life. You want to study hard and learn as much as you can.

The right job for you:

You have plenty of dream jobs but have little chance of doing any of them if you don't focus on something in particular. You need to choose something and go for it to be happy and achieve success.
How do you view success:

You are confident that you will be successful in your chosen career and nothing will stop you from trying.
What are you most afraid of:

You are afraid of things that you cannot control. Sometimes you show your anger to cover up how you feel.

Who is your true self:
You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve.

From how i observed... the last message is practically the same 'template' everyone got.. hehehehe and for a few of my friends... they said that whatever stated up there.. actually describes me to the CORE! What say you??

My Little Pony and Friends in memories

2009-03-15T08:19:00.000-07:00

I've found a book that i have kept with me for at least 15 years. =P

It started back then when me and my dear little friends wanted to set up a group. The typical trend is we all came up with a group where everyone talks about our favourite cartoon.. and we even make a point to have an art book and share it too..

Firefly...Part of how i got my name :P

We don't really know how much has my drawings have improved over the years.. ( or has it not?? =P)

Lets compare....

This was what i drew when i was 9.... Begining part in 'The of Battle of Midnight castle'

This is what i drew..

This was the original picture from the video..

What do you think?

It was actually Firefly was making a 'double loop' scene where i drew the pictures sequentially... never knew the passion for animation started since then...

The pony turning back was the first picture and every scene was drawn until Firefly hit Apple Jack..

The scene i drew back then

The real 'scene'

I would like to share with everyone entire full scene...

Don't you just miss the good old days???
In case everyone have even forgotten my third favourite of MLPNF... inside there i liked Moon Dreamers.. their hair color variety reminded me so much of Bishoujo Senshi Sailormoon.. =P

and since this book is for all 3 cartoons.. it contains drawings of
Jem and the holograms...

My little Pony and friends..

lastly..

Moon Dreamers....

My version of Jem
Ahhh... miss the old days.. Shit.. i feel old now >.<

Memoirs of the early childhood animations

2009-03-14T09:20:00.000-07:00

Does the name Jem and the Holograms rings a bell?

In case you completely forgot... does this few lines rings a bell?

"Jem... is truly outrageous... Truly truly outrageous...
Wooow.. Jem.. is music contagious ( outrageous ).."

" Jem is my name, no one else is the same...
Jem is my name.... (JEM!) "

=P
Brings back memories doesnt it???

Spelling session gone wrong

2009-03-13T08:09:00.000-07:00

Went to give a spelling sessions to my lil students.
The theme given to theme was 'school'

so.. there list of words were like ' discipline', ' respect', 'obedient', and the list goes on.. but uptill the 10th...

The 10th word was punishment...
Most of them got it right, some got the last word wrong.. and one went abit of towards -> horribly wrong.....

how bad was it?

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I presume you'd know what went wrong =P

TVB The Blooper series

2009-03-03T06:48:00.000-08:00

Finally something new and entertaining has come up recently from TVB.

I guess being decades in the showbiz industry, mistakes are definitely inevitable..

Observe the following....

Nice scene..... I wonder what happened to her helmet.... kekekekeke

Talk about the most charming TVB actor, Kevin Cheng... observe this scene about him " having a meeting"...

Spot the difference?? =P

I am not sure which series this is from.. but technically this guy got bashed...

Yeah... freaking hard...

This is where he 'got injured'

Observe what is he wearing.......
So, this guy goes home.. telling his family about his injury.......

Family members intend to help him put on the relevant ointment / medications... and he has to take off his clothes .....

=D wow... you should know what to spot by now :P

Centuries ago, when the Chinese Emperror still exist,.. they are equipped with more than thousands of servants...
ahh..... the good old historical stories...

But by then, technologies back then were already in great advancement stage..

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Why would i say that?

Hehehe,.. air conditioners were already on standby modes for the hot summer :P

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Based on a timeline of 1831... on the good old days of our ancestors....

wow.. notice a guy who was already intrend since more than a century ago?.. i bet our i know where the international fashion designers get their latest inspiration from :P

Today Matters and Faithfulness-Leadership Seminar

2009-02-28T19:17:00.000-08:00

Back in February 15th, a leadership seminar was held in In Touch TBC, by Pastor Richard Rajoo, and Ooi Piek See. It was really an inspiring talk and here are few some common misconceptions and reactions about different people's perspective towards the word "success".

We believe that success is impossible, so we criticize it.

Often, people become disillusioned because they feel life should be easier thatn it is.
This is a faulty assumption, truth is life is difficult.
The moment success does not come quickly, many become negative and say, " I didnt't want it anyway!" or " i knew i couldn't achieve it from the begining"

We believe that success is mystical, so we search for it

sometimes, people approach success as if it were a magic formula
All they have to do is to discover the formula, and they'll arrive at their desired destination.
To them, success is a mystery that requires a hunt.

We believe that success comes from luck, so we hope for it.

Many time, we believe success comes from simply being in the right place at the right time.
It isn't talent or hard work, we say, it is an accident of chance.
The truth is, luck alone won't help us. It is a myth.

We believe success comes from productivity, so we work for it.

While hard work usually does accompany success, it is one dimensional.
Many people who work hard don't see success.
Some work hard and negleck important relationships and other higher priorities.

We believe that success comes from opportunity, so we wait for it.

Those who believe this have the motto:" If only..."
Truth is, if all we do is wait for an opportunity, we won't be ready when it comes

We believe success comes from power so we leverage resources

Some people associate success with power. They pursue their goals at any expense.
They push ahead and may even hurt others in the process, all in the name of succeeding.
Truth is, force never produces long term fruit.

We believe success comes from connections, so we network for it.

These people believe that success does not come from what you know but from who you know.
They build relationships hoping to manipulate their way into fame and fortune.
Truth is connections alone won't furnish success.

In other words... you can make your way to the top. But how do you keep yourself at the top? People fall if they don't have the character to keep themselves at the top.

We believe that success comes from recognition, so we strive for it.

Every profession has their own form of recognition.
Some strive to be rocognized by their peers, their motto to be noticed and affirmed.
Truth is these are usually unhealthy motives that put us in a performance trap.

We believe that success is an event, so we schedule it.

While events are important they cannot provide success.
Events are good for inspiration and challenge, but real sustainable change doesn't happen in a moment.
It comes from a growth process that follows an event.
The Law of Process states that development doesn't happen in a day, but is a daily process.

If you don't transform the way you think, it won't be sustainable. It will be washed away.
We all have been given a mission to fulfill with our lives..
What are you doing about yours today?????

=)

Everything Men Know About Women

2009-02-24T06:39:00.000-08:00

I found a book of a very interesting title..... I bet this has what mankind has been searching for all these centuries!

A huge discovery of Earth~!

All in a pocket sized book~!!!

All your questions of the greatest myth!!!!

Enough of bullshit.. lets see what are the answers to the greatest myth on earth =P

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Well said....

Katy Perry of both versions

2009-02-23T08:05:00.000-08:00

Had heard of Kate Perry? If you haven't, she's the sexy lass that sang ' I Kissed a girl' and heres her mtv..... =P

Heres another one... spot the difference.. ROFL!

Valentine : Love of all form, for all.

2009-02-16T21:25:00.000-08:00

Happy Valentines ( or was it a week ago? )i got that Awesome sweet lolli from In Touch!!!! ^^ So nice of Pastor Clarine keke...

For me, the Valentines day's significance has changed over the years... :)

This year a lil parcel that arrived made me realise that the meaning of love came in very different stages..

Within the parcel, there were few items that came along.. reflecting many events in the pass, bringing back memories as i slowly unwrapped them..

Firstly, the very first item was This lil bar of Cadbury Zip =). The significance of first love =P.

This love Talisman Reminded me of an old friend =) ( He is still alive btw )

Secondly, the life changing Love that healed, and strengthen me..
It was exactly from the same content of the 'footprints' Key Chain =)

MQS used to say ' Valentines day is another Over commercialised days for florist and the market to sell roses and chocs at a superficially high price '.

I wish to say that Valentines is not about expectations.. its about reviewing the love of all kind in all form that I have been given and how much of love i have always been surrounded.

It has always been there embracing me even before the day i exist in this world =)..
Without the love of a mother..
I wouldnt learn what is the greatest love on earth,

Without the love of a friend..
The scars wouldnt heal and I wouldn't have stand up again..

Without the love of the First,
It wouldnt spark the birth of a new love..

So, end of the day.. its not the expectation but commemorating the endless love of what we've been lavishly showered with.

Happy Valentines Day... Love ya all~~~~~~~~~

Chap Goh Meh

2009-02-08T08:03:00.000-08:00

I've previously forgotten to wish all my Lembu friends Happy Chinese New year in hotarusportal.. In this lembu year... Behold here are the wishes from the bottom of my heart:

-: Many Happy Returns for this 牛Year！
-: Hope there are far more less 牛mindsets and always get going ^^
-: Meet more 牛 and none-牛 friends ^^

For a long duration i was down with a lot of issues, most of which was out of my control and finally manage to understand Jewel's advice.

Manage to get hold of a book today at a super cheap price ^^.

Its so unbelievably cheap till i remained speechless in the bookstore :P
So ppl, enjoy Chap Goh Meh and i shall enjoy reading my book ^^

Ulcer or toothache or Gumache ... what the hell isit?

2009-02-05T18:25:00.001-08:00

sob sob... Haiyoooo what the hell is wrong with my gums/mouth.. I am pretty sure its not a toothache.. not an ulcer ( the pain is different and it usually wont swell). T______T

Understanding the Impossible

2009-01-29T21:01:00.000-08:00

Misunderstanding could be disastrous if both parties choose to keep maintain a certain distance in getting the full knowledge of the situations. Either that or when certain level of understanding is not given.

Just recently, Daruma told me about how obvious that her close friend is showing signs of betrayal towards her.
And since they’re really close friends, she was saying how much it would hurt if there is a truth to those signs.

There’d be 2 different perspectives in looking at this situation:

1)Allowing the other person a fair space to let the entire situation resurface. Why? Because end of the day, if the entire story is a complete misunderstanding, you will realize how much you’ve wasted your neurons having a thought of the ridiculous side of things.

Of course, most people can’t afford to give the time and energy to understand Everyone.
What would be the best way of putting this would be, give you the possibility of a doubt, understanding the other party. If all these years that this person has been such a trusting and caring person you’ve always known, would this one time/ recent signs be actually possible?

End of the day if those signs are for real, it’s true that it would be hurtful in many ways. But it’s still unfair for you to stop giving the mutual understanding in more people you would get to know in the future. And for sure, by not giving up you will find someone somewhere in this world that will return such equal understanding. The stat appears to be scarily scarce, but why should you still be persistent?

Simply because of the reason that you’ve never known/see how much consideration others have previously given you. People, who were given certain level of consideration, would hardly/ never know that they Were given certain level of consideration.

2)Start confronting the other party asking what he/she is trying to do from all the signs. This probably led to a heated argument which could have been pointless and last but not least putting a potential true friendship to an END.

Is there a point towards the actions of step 2?
In our everyday lives, we will encounter a lot of situations appearing there’d be a typical side of it. The best would be Not to judge it in the first place. Hope all of my dear friends out there and everyone would find this helpful ^^.

"Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.”

"All truths are easy to understand once they are discovered; the point is to discover them."

"Any fool can criticize, condemn, and complain but it takes character and self control to be understanding and forgiving." -Dale Carnegie

" Seek first to understand and then to be understood." - Stephen R. Covey
"We are slaves to whatever we don't understand" -Vernon Howard

CONFIDENCE?

2009-01-28T12:11:00.000-08:00

My dear Kuroi Sensei has an encounter with similar occurence of ppl very similar to BQi BQi gal like 4 years ago.. Its a pity, but i guess such as life.. and there will be such people everywhere. Heres a repost of the blog:

Have you ever come across anyone who never quits putting you down by making you feel you're not even worth a penny? Like every other day, they'll be reminding you how great they are, the no. of people attracted to them etc...but that's not the end! They will not forget to tell you what an impossibility it is if there was EVER anything good in you.

Do you sometimes wonder why these people do such things? Without you even speaking a word, they would naturally tell you 'this person likes me, that person is checking ME out (not you) and there is no way he/she is/will ever be interested in you', yada yada and the story never ends. Childish? ABSOLUTELY with a capital C!

There are countless people that thinks putting down another person will in someway or another, lift themselves up. This is a complete bulls***. If you've met anyone like this, remember that it is not YOU being the problem, it is simply THEM feeling insecure, or worse, feeling threatened by YOUR presence.

I don't even like the thought of me writing this in my blog! (Simply 'cause it's too minute a topic) But I honestly think I'm not the only one facing people like that, and it may be helpful if someone else reading this is going through the same rubbish and AFFECTED by it!

Confidence comes from within, NOT without. People CANNOT determine your self-esteem because only YOU have the ability to make yourself WORTHY (or WORTHLESS). You are NOT what you think you are, but WHAT YOU THINK, you are! The mind is the greatest gift God has given us but if used negatively, it could be our greatest defeat. Your surroundings (including pessimists) could well come up to you to remind you how terrible, weak, useless, unproductive, ugly, fat, or stupid you are. What's gonna sustain you?

In such a bad economy, with bad news revolving every other day and as if it's not bad enough, negative people.. what sustains you? What keeps you going? What holds your confidence? As a believer, without a doubt God is my greatest confidence 'cause even if all else fail, He never fails me! But if you aren't a believer, what keeps you going? The answer is YOURSELF.

Too good/easy to be true? NO! Hear me out because i'm speaking with great passion! If you wake up tomorrow with an inner voice saying "Gosh I'm such a failure, I look horrible, my work's not gonna get done, it's another nightmare at work/school", truth is, it will be! However, if you make everyday a CHOICE to believe in yourself, to know you are as good as you WANT it to be, eventually your actions will correlate with your thoughts! And the results? A good day with productivity and success right in the center of your palms.

Here are a few wise quotes to encourage those of you who needs them:

"Great minds have purposes; others have wishes. Little minds are subdued by misfortunes; but great minds rise above them"

"All great achievers are given multiple reasons to believe they are failures. But in spite of that, they persevere."

"What distinguishes winners from losers is that winners concentrate at all times on what they can do, not on what they can't do."

"No matter what happens to you, the important thing is what happens in you."

"A champion gets up one more time than he gets knocked down"

FF: Ain't those inspiring sets of words? =) whatdya think? I love my life ^^ it rewarded me in its wondrous ways... allows me to have inspiring perspective along with sharing thoughts of wisdom with special ppl i meet in life =)

Whats Cooking after exams....

2009-01-13T16:30:00.000-08:00

Thanks for d bday wishes.. =) so sweet in the middle of exam stressed out season..... love ya loads ^^
The night before didnt turn out quite well.. since i missed the last bus and got stranded in UNI.. had to followed Keju to stay overnight in her house.

Of course, i had made my this year's bday wish!! Can't tell em out since I am going to hope for it to come true! =) The entire real day was all about studying...
But the simple wish of Happy Birthday really warms the tense environment.. Everyone is in their 3rd yearie~~ Hope you guys score with flying colors... ^^

A day after the last paper.. Got warm and pleasant surprise from my sweet gals..
We went to DAOREI.. a famous Korean BBQ restaurant... the Ambience was.. SUPERB..

See what i mean??

Itadakimasu~!!!

Malaysia's Next Hot Nerd ( don't throw mandarins at me.. i know cny is near =p

Are you hungry by now??

Presenting to you... the world's nicest Dish by the world's Cheekiest waitress

Hahaha Look!! My prezzies!!!!!!!!! =)

My favourite! The CARD--> Heres wat is says:

Front Page: A Great Friend is like a good bra...

Inside ( Right ): Hard to find, Supportive, Comfortable, always lifs you up, never lets you down or leaves u hanging and is always close to your heart.
(HAHAHAHA.. Interesting likes!!)

Inside (Left):
Dear FF, Happy 24th Birthday!!! It has been great being friends and i hope you'll have a wonderful year ahead filled with laughter, fun, happiness, great health and success. Best of luck in your studies and can't wait for you to join in the workforce to achieve our 7 year goal together. Thanks for being a great 'Bra' and likewise, LW and I will be your 'Bras' forever! hahaha!
Have Fun!! and Happy Birthday!
-Jewel-

Dear FF,
Wow! 24!! Ah! Old woman! LOL Thank you so much for being a wonderful friend all these years! I really hope this year will be different for you, whenever there are dissapointments, you will find patience, where there is sadness, you will find something to smile about, where there is failure, you will develop persistency, where there is frustration, you will learn to breathe in and let go, when people put you down,you will inherit forgiveness, most of all, whenever or whatever you may face, you will be able to find good in everything! Remember to always have a fun and cheeky side to things!
-K.S-

SO wat was the best part of the night?? Done with dinner.. K.S suddenly said sth about Souled out.. " Everything Sold out by 10 wor.. sure damn famous wan =P"
As usual, i am damn dungu to notice the hint.. after we makan... she drove straight there.. to Souled Out..

As we were playing and chit chatting.. a waitress starts putting a slice of cake infront of me, and another waiter started to cap on a very heavy Birthday Plush toy Hat onto me.. Hahaha was a truely UNEXPECTED.. kena Con for the first time in this new year!! FYI.. heres a small resemblance on how i felt.. --->

Hehehehe... my dear friends.. they really brought me to heaven after weeks of hell in exams =P..
What can i say ppl.........Arigato~~~ ^^

Daddy's Treasure, Mommy's Gem

2009-01-10T07:58:00.000-08:00

You are amazing, you are mine
Small little heart, a special life
Beautiful and perfect in everyway
A reflection of God's wondrous ways

Sweet baby, tight embraces
Soothing lullabies, angel's kisses
Daddy's treasure, mommy's gem
We're here to welcome you
We nurture you and hold you dear
We are here to comfort and bond with you
You can count on us
O little one , for love

I touch your precious face and see your eyes
They are so bright and have this amazing gaze
Your little hand grips tightly onto mine
I will lead you through all the way

We pray that our home filled with
laughter and joy
God has truly heard your cry
Now you are mine

The Soup Kitchen's Lesson of life =)

2008-12-28T06:02:00.000-08:00

I was whinning about MCS and RED on how much hell it would bring me this sem's finals..

Back in Christmas, Kuroi Sensei mentioned about Soup Kitchen Event.. Sad that this time,
I wasnt there to participate..

What is so special about it? Its a place to feed the poor and less fortunate..
Most of the people who come for Soup Kitchen are senior citizens.. From everypart of Jinjang...
Some have children which they cannot even afford to feed.. both themselves and their youngs.
Some had to travel thru bicycles, and find ways to be there on time for Soup Kitchen to start..

The concept of this significant event is to ensure.. no one is left with an empty stomach...
Its usually held in saturdays,.. and for xmas,.. they specially have a soup kitchen
for the first time :) almost 800 people turned up...
and you can see how happy they are upon entering. To ensure that they don't feel alienated,
people stand by the door greet them with a warm smile and said ' Merry Christmas =)'

The joy from their expression is simply priceless... When smiles like dat were out, it was
an unspoken gratitude and joy.. The chrismas carols sang were so rewarding to them.
An old lady even said ' wow.. I've never heard Such a nice song sang to me in my entire life'.

These are people.. who have to worry when the next meal is going to be..
Once they've finished their meal, they smiled and said ' Thank you' to any helper of the Soup Kitchen.

Just as being said.. They are people which have so much to worry, even for their own meal..

Their problem appear to be recurring daily as they wont even know if the next meal is even possible..

So, end of the day.. in comparing to people like them... we are far more fortunate.... aren't we?

Any possible problems we may face.. are close to negligible.. So, whenever I stumble another rock
or obstacle in my future life.. This will be a constant reminder of how insignificant of what i am facing
compared to them ..... Merry Christmas everyone.. =) ( haha even though its a very belated one)